


The Gift of the MockingJay

by ImBeautifullyHuman



Series: Scent of A Woman 2.0 [3]
Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games (2012) RPF, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Interracial Relationship, Sexual Content, Teen Romance, Unrequited Love, Young Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImBeautifullyHuman/pseuds/ImBeautifullyHuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I originally wrote this as The Gift on fanfiction dot net as a holiday Drabble that just got bigger and bigger.  It's rewritten here with a few revisions.  </p><p>Katniss and Peeta celebrate Christmas as only star-crossed lovers can. I hope you enjoy this little fluff I wrote to get you in the holiday spirit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Gift Of The MockingJay

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own do The Hunger Games trilogy or its characters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a prequel to Scent of A Woman, loosely based on The Gift of The Magi, by O. Henry. I do not own that story, nor do I own The Hunger Games trilogy or its characters.

**December 2007 in Katniss' & Peeta's Senior Year of High School**

**  
Two weeks before Christmas**

  
"Not another rerun of _A Christmas Story_ , Prim. Please!"

"C'mon, Katniss. We've only seen it twice this whole season. Sit down and watch it with me." The older girl rolled her eyes, but responded with regret.

"I can't. Got errands to run. I'm taking the car. If mom comes looking for it, stall her for me, will you?"

Prim jumped up from the sofa and bounded over to her older sister. "Going to make out with Peeta?"

"No, you nosy little brat. We don't make out. Peeta and I are just friends." Katniss scowled and tried to hide her embarrassment.

"Unh-Hunh…" Prim eyed her incredulously as she sauntered back over to her perch on the sofa. Katniss stared her down wondering when her little sister got so grown up.

"I will thank you to stay out of my personal business, Little Duck."

"Oh, get off it, Katniss. He's got it bad for you and you know it. And you've got it for him, too. Stop pretending and just go with it. Who cares what people think? Besides, he's hot as hell! You oughta hit that!"  

She stared at her younger sister in mock disgust.  Of course, she knew her younger sibling had a heart of gold as well as a mouth like a sailor. She was sure that Prim knew nothing of the special agreement between her and Peeta. They'd made it in their freshman year at District High and consummated it the night of their junior prom.

* * *

She started the car, backed out of the driveway and headed to Johanna Mason's house. Jo had been, for some time now, eyeing the white gold purity ring her mother had given her on her fourteenth birthday before entering high school; Prim would also receive one next year before entering that same high school. Her parents had waited to have sex until their wedding night and encouraged them both to do the same. The plan had always been for Mr. Everdeen to present them with the rings once the time arrived.

  
But his passing had interrupted those plans. Her mother honored their original decision by planning a special dinner and a presentation of the ring for each girl. It was her way of keeping his presence in their lives. Following Katniss' dinner, there was a very uncomfortable discussion about sexuality and other adult things that she would have gladly skipped in order to catch the next episode of Survivor. But, the gravity of it all was not lost on Katniss. She'd proudly worn the ring with a tiny chip of a diamond in it, drawing comments from Johanna and other kids who thought that having sex made them somehow more mature.

  
“Why are you deciding to sell this now, brainless? Finally decide to share your cookies with that hottie, breadboy?”

Johanna wasn’t a gossip, but she did like to be privy to the intimate details of who was hooking up with whom. It was her way of convincing herself that every girl had a little slut hidden inside them. She felt less alone that way.

  
“Don’t worry about why I’m selling it. Do you want it or not?” Katniss gave her an exasperated look.

  
“Or was it Gale? Damn it! I wanted that. Do you mind if I take seconds?” she continued, undaunted.

  
“Jo, if you don’t want the damn thing, I’ll be leaving.” Not being in the mood for games, Katniss stood up from Jo’s kitchen table and stuffed the ring back into the pocket of her jacket.

  
"Shit, hold on Kittie Kat. I just don’t want to buy it if you're gonna go jump off a bridge or something afterwards."

  
Johanna had no propriety when it came to sensitive matters like this. Thankfully she'd already resolved her feelings about selling the ring weeks ago. She wanted to get Peeta something special. He'd been so generous to her in past years, and she could never afford to match his gift giving. Although she knew it didn't matter, it still bothered her.

  
"No, Jo, it's fine. We need the money. Christmas is coming."

  
She didn't reveal to the girl the real reason she was selling the ring lest she never live it down. She knew that Peeta had been trying futilely to save up for a popular art seminar in town. A very famous local artist held the event only twice a year. Having it on his resume would surely make Peeta stand out in the world of art and design.  His mother had refused to pay for it because

'A _career as an artist will not earn you enough to live any kind of life, and I'm not supporting you for the rest of your life._ '

She was more than happy to help Peeta pursue his dream and buck his mother all at the same time. There was a seminar coming up during their spring break next year and he desperately wanted to attend. He'd almost saved the $500 fee when the engine on his car went out. He'd had to spend the money he’d saved on the repairs.

Katniss is shaken back to the present by Johanna impatiently snapping her fingers before her eyes.

"Although," she said to the tall, attractive, dark-haired girl, not missing a beat, "it's beyond me why you want a purity ring."

"It's the kitsch of it all! Don’t you get it? The irony of _me_ , of all people, wearing a purity ring. It's fucking hilarious!" She doubled over in laughter but stopped when she saw her friend look sadly at her.

"Whatever. Merry Christmas to me. Don't judge me. Just hand it over. Here's your dough.

* * *

 

**Christmas Day**

  
Peeta sat sullenly in front of the television half-heartedly watching the basketball game with his father and brothers. The Christmas dinner dishes had all been cleared away and his mother was gossiping excitedly on the phone with Mrs. Undersee. He looked on sideways and thought how nauseating it was that she fell all over herself every time the Senator's wife rang their phone. She would have loved nothing more than for him and Madge to hook up and raise her standing in the community. If he had a shred of respect left for his mother, it was dissolved when he realized what a social climber she was.  

Peeta didn't realize how much he'd been scowling at his mother until she moved the phone away from her ear and asked him, "Peeta, what's the matter dear?"

  
He gathered his senses and said, "Oh…nothing. Just not feeling well, I guess. My stomach is killing me."

  
"Oh dear, Clesi. I think Peeta over-ate. That dressing recipe you gave me was a big hit!" She forgot all about her interest in him and continued to laugh it up with the other woman on the phone. Peeta shook his head, disgusted, until he realized it for what it was: a perfect opportunity to get out of going over to the Undersees for after-dinner cocktails.

  
They'd invited the Mellarks for the past 4 years and his mother had been beside herself with glee at the first invitation. She'd gone out and purchased new outfits for them all to wear. His father had simply shaken his head and went along silently. Upon arriving, he, Madge and Deacon rolled their eyes and retreated to the basement after engaging in the customary ' _hellos_ ' and ' _you're-looking-wells'_. Vigo, of course, chose to hang out with the adults and bask in their adoration of him.

  
He was grateful that the younger Undersee had not inherited her mother's classist tendencies or he'd never be able to hear the end of it in his house. Their mothers completely ignored the fact that dating each other was neither on Madge's nor Peeta's agenda. She was very much in love with Marvel and he only had eyes for Katniss. Instead, he used her interest in Marvel as his reason for not pursuing her more fervently while their mothers conspired to encourage breeding in their offspring like the owners of two prized spaniels. Evelyn also knew of his interest in Katniss and couldn't stand it. He'd told her that he knew her bigotry was the reason she didn't approve of Katniss.

That was the year she struck him in the face with the rolling-pin. Mr. Mellark had pleaded with him to not bring her up to his mother anymore. ' _For your own goo_ d,' he'd said.

' _I suppose being with someone who I don't love for the rest of my life would be for my own good, too, dad_?'

His father had looked at him with a shameful, injured expression. Peeta immediately felt like crap for doing that to him. He was, after all, a good man and a good provider. They wanted for nothing in the material sense. But, he could never live his life the way his father had. He'd seen what that could do to a man. Yet, he had not gathered enough courage to stand up to his mother about the girl since that incident. Part of him was afraid to drag Katniss into more drama. She had enough to contend with. So, he settled for being with her in any way that he could.

  
He'd taken on extra shifts at the bakery and made repairs to his own car instead of taking it to a mechanic in order to save money for her Christmas gift. The black velvet box had been eating a hole in his pocket since dinner. His father knew of his plans, but there was no way in hell he could tell his mother that he'd spent 500 hard-earned dollars on…that _girl_.

  
He retreated to his room at around 5pm with a pretend stomach and head ache. His mother absently kissed him on the cheek, not really caring a bit about how he felt as long as she got to go to the Undersees for the evening. In her excitement, it never occurred to her that he might be lying. He was grateful that he didn't have to pull out a more convincing acting job to get out of going as he wondered why he hadn't thought of this years ago. Deacon stopped by his room just before leaving. He adored Deacon in spite of their mother's claim that the older boy was clearly the 'family fuck-up'. Deacon had saved him from many a beating when he became big enough in size to stand up to the woman, often taking the blame for broken vases and baseballs through windows.

  
"Hey, little bro. Keep your cell phone near." He stared at his brother, confused as to why Deacon would say this until he offered him a wink. "I'll be your lookout…let you know when the coast is clear."  
A smile spread slowly across Peeta's face and improved his brooding mood instantly. At least someone understood what he was feeling when it came to Katniss.

  
"Thanks, man."

  
"No problem, bro. Besides, I get to have that cute Madge all to myself. She hates Vigo. Tell your girl I said Merry Christmas."  
About twenty minutes after the car left the driveway, he received a text from his older brother: _The eagle has landed. The birdie can fly free._

  
He had to smile at his brother's corny way of showing his support and approval and he loved him for that.

* * *

The yearly custom of spending Christmas night with her father's Uncle Haymitch had started years before his death. Since his passing, the Everdeen women took special pains to make sure not to miss it as Haymitch had come to expect it as much as he expected Christmas itself. Being widowed with no children of his own, he tended to overindulge in alcohol if left to his own devices for too long. They were all the family he had left and he enjoyed having them around as often as possible. He was disappointed to hear that Katniss was studying for her second crack at the ACT and wouldn't be coming. Prim had given her a sneakily suspicious look as she put her coat on to leave. Her mother, who was oblivious to everything as usual, suspected nothing.

  
Peeta had called a couple of days ago to ask if they could meet up on Christmas Day. She'd agreed, hiding her excitement as she hadn't seen him since school let out. At just shy of 6pm he rang the front doorbell. After exchanging hugs and brief kisses on the cheek, he came inside and settled himself on the sofa beside her to catch the last half-hour of her favorite Christmas movie, _It's a Wonderful Life_.

  
"Shhh! It's almost over," she said as she curled her feet underneath her body and leaned close to him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and thought he was the happiest he'd been the entire holiday season just sitting here with her and watching a cheesy movie. His foul mood from earlier had begun to gradually subside, but being in her presence made it completely disappear.

  
When the movie ended, she offered him something to eat, which he refused saying he was still stuffed. She helped herself to a couple of cream cheese Oreo balls with vanilla ice cream. He watched the spoon glide in and out of her luscious lips with envy as he prayed, ' _Dear, God. Make me a spoon...please._ '

  
Once she finished, he wasted no time in taking her hand and nervously rubbing it between his own. He told her about how he'd just barely avoided going to the Undersees for cocktails.  This led to the discussion of how he’d had to take Madge to the winter formal just a couple of weeks ago. It still bothered him that he hadn't refused his mother's demand and taken Katniss instead.

  
Mrs. Undersee was as bad as Mrs. Mellark in her desire to make sure her daughter-of-a-Senator socialized in the right circles. Although Marvel was a good student with promise, he wasn't from the right kind of family and was being raised by a single mother. Katniss assured him that she understood his predicament and that there were no hard feelings. After all, they were good friends with Madge and Marvel, and she trusted her. She knew she'd have been a nervous wreck if it had been another girl, especially that wretched Clove Gable.

  
"The night wasn't a total loss, right?" she asked, rubbing his hand gently. "We had fun anyway."

  
All Peeta and Madge did the first hour of the dance was talk about Marvel and Katniss. When they thought they'd been seen by enough people, they left the dance. Peeta dropped Madge off at Marvel's and he headed to Katniss' to watch _Pretty in Pink_ with her while his tuxedo jacket hung on the back of a kitchen chair. Her mother had ordered pizza and made popcorn and cocoa while Prim bugged the hell out of them.  He was in absolute heaven.

  
"Yeah. That was a good night," he reminisced.

  
They spent a little while longer catching up on senior year gossip before the discussion turned to graduation and college. He'd been offered a scholarship to Georgia Tech, but was not too happy about accepting it. Part of it was to defy his mother and her insatiable desire to control every aspect of his future. Part of it was because he couldn't stand the thought of going four months at a time without seeing Katniss. She urged him to accept it, reminding him that they'd be so busy studying they wouldn't have time for each other even if they were in the same city.

  
"Peeta, she won't support you if you go anywhere else but her alma mater. This is your future we're talking about. We'll have the summers and holiday breaks together. It'll be fine."

She didn't tell him that it would be easier for her heart to accept him moving away than maybe _having_ to someday accept his lack of interest in her. Besides, there was a program at Georgia Tech that had caught his interest and she couldn't be responsible for Peeta not following his dreams. He looked at her searchingly and came to the conclusion that just maybe she encouraged him to go because she wasn't going to miss him quite as much as he was going to miss her. He changed the subject.

  
"Well, I got you something."

  
He took the little black velvet box from his pocket and handed it to her unceremoniously, but with shaky hands. She opened it with a gasp as she stared at a pair of white gold earrings in the shape of hearts with tiny diamonds along the edges.

  
"They're the ones you looked at in the mall that day, remember? You said they'd match the ring your mom gave you."

  
"Oh, Peeta." She was speechless until his expectant face finally brought her words out. "That's the sweetest, dumbest thing anyone has ever done for me. These must've cost a fortune." She felt a fit of tears mixed with irony-inspired giggles overtaking her as she thought of the purity ring that was no more.

  
"Well, since I'm responsible for you losing your purity, I thought the least I could do was buy something to complement the ring." She laughed around the happy tears forming in her eyes. The boy sitting in front of her never ceased to amaze her with his focus and attention on others.

  
"This is way too expensive. Your mom's going to kill you." She knew not to refuse it. He would never hear of it.

  
"You're welcome…and…she doesn't know…and…it's none of her business. Merry Christmas, Katniss."

  
"Thank you so much, Peeta. They're beautiful." She lunged at him with her arms widespread for a hug. When he released her, she took a deep breath and just let the words come out.

  
"Well, you're going to get a kick out of this…I sold my ring to buy your present." His face instantly filled with shock while her words rolled around in his head.

  
"You did what?!"

  
She jumped up to retrieve a gold embossed envelope from beneath the Christmas tree and handed it to him. When he opened it and found the registration ticket to the art seminar in his name, he raked his hands through his hair. He was left speechless.

  
"I knew how you wanted to attend that art seminar. And since I wasn't exactly pure anymore," she paused for another deep breath and to allow a sheepish grin to overtake her features, "I figured why not?" She looked at him apprehensively, playing with the string on her hoodie. He wasn't saying anything and she was becoming afraid she'd read him wrong. "Besides, Jo's been begging me to sell it to her for months."

  
"Wait, you sold Jo Mason a purity ring?" She nodded apprehensively.

"Now that's bizarre, but…whatever. I absolutely love this. But, I wish you hadn't done this, Katniss. You could’ve used the money for other things."  The seriousness in his tone made her feel oddly defensive.

  
"Peeta, for once I wanted to give you something nice. Not a pair of frigging socks I knitted in Home Ec or a pan of brownies. Please don't ruin this for me. You've always given me such nice, thoughtful gifts. I just couldn't let another year go by without letting you know how important your friendship is to me."

  
_Friendship_. There was that damned word again. How he wished for more than that. He felt they’d grown closer over the years, but the ache in his heart to have more was becoming unbearable. He brought his body in close for a hug and they thanked each other as he placed a kiss to her cheek. They both sat speechless and holding hands for a few minutes until he finally broke the silence.

  
"What did your mom say?"

  
"She doesn't know and she probably won't ever notice. I haven't worn that ring since…well…that night."

  
His face blushed and he looked away nervously before meeting her steady gaze. "Well, I'm buying that ring back for you."

  
"No, you're not. It would take you from now until graduation to save up that much money and I'm not discussing it anymore, Peeta."

  
He knew how useless it was to argue with her once her mind was made up, especially when it pertained to owing anyone anything. If he was going to buy the ring back, he'd have to do it in secret. In an attempt to break the tension and lighten the mood, he broke out a picture of a sprig of mistletoe on his smart phone and held it over her head.

  
"Well, at least let me give you a real Christmas kiss."

  
She smiled warmly and nodded her head as she unconsciously bit her lower lip. He leaned in slowly and pressed his mouth to hers, tasting remnants of the sweet dessert still on her tongue. He pulled her bottom lip softly between his own and was pleased when she let out a soft moan. They'd kissed a few times since prom night, but had rarely been alone enough to explore this new side to their relationship. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen were always around at her place.  The hallways at school were no good.  And, when they were at Finn's house, they were always surrounded by a group of friends. She didn't like to come to his house too often. So, moments like this had been rare.

  
He stroked her lip softly with his tongue, requesting that she open up for him.  She gladly did. Her eyes fluttered closed as she entered another world where nothing else existed but Peeta’s lips on hers. The mistletoe-wielding phone was discarded to some unknown place on the floor as their kiss heated quickly. Before he knew it, he'd buried his hands in her hair. She wasn't quite sure how she ended up straddling his lap. The idea that he could make her so drunk for him that she couldn't monitor the movements of her own body was unsettling, but she found it really difficult to care at that moment. Their mouths moved heatedly against each other as he pulled strands of hair loose from her braid and twirled it around his finger. She cupped his face in her hands and leaned her forehead against his.

"It's getting a little warm in here," he said breathlessly.  

  
"Should I turn the heat down?" she asked, her heart pounding. He wasn't sure if she was being coy or if this was a real question, but went with it anyway.

  
"No," he replied.  “But, maybe I should get out of this sweatshirt.”

  
She helped him remove the sweatshirt he’d had on since arriving, all the while staying on his lap. She then removed her own hoodie, revealing the Georgia Tech t-shirt he gave her after his campus visit, with instructions to '… _make it smell like you. It's going to be my pillow case when I go off to school.'_ She had answered with ' _That's the grossest thing I've ever heard, Peeta. But, okay_.'

  
“I was a little warm, too,” she said as she nervously licked her lips.

  
He looked up at her with darkened eyes before gently grabbing the back of her neck and bringing her face down for another kiss.  She grabbed both his hands and pressed them firmly into her chest, telling him that she wanted him to touch her there. He momentarily broke the kiss to eye her tentatively before stroking his thumbs across the double layer of cloth just over her stiffened buds.  He kissed her again deeply as she involuntarily moaned and circled her hips on him, causing the situation in his pants to expand. He thrust his hips back into her, hungry for any sort of friction. His eyes fluttered closed and then opened again as his hands descended to grip her thighs before eventually making their way back up and underneath her t-shirt. Feeling her soft skin instantly made him want to get closer to her and relive the experience of their first time. He'd reminisced on it over and over again in his head.  While he showered.  During dinner.  During class.  In his sleep.  Anywhere and anytime some external force didn't command his undivided attention.

  
In one swift movement, that only a wrestler could manage, he lifted her up and twisted their bodies so that they reclined on the sofa with him on top. He slowly raised bottom hem of the t-shirt and stroked his fingers lightly across the dusky skin of her abdomen.  Reading the permission in her eyes, he began to plant sloppy kisses around her bra and down to her stomach. He stopped abruptly and returned to face her and assure her with a shaky breath that this was not why he'd wanted to see her today.  She'd been warned by her interfering friend, Gale, that guys like Peeta only wanted sex from girls like her.  He couldn't risk her buying into that.

  
"I'm sorry, Katniss. I just got carried away. This isn't why I wanted to see you. I just wanted to spend some part of my favorite day with my favorite girl."

Though they'd not defined what they were to each other, he often said things like this, making her feel flushed and confused. They hadn't had sex since prom night of their junior year, but not from a lack of wanting to. On that night, she'd gone to the dance with Gale while he took Delly. They'd switched partners at the dance to avoid his mother's ire. That was eight months ago. Since then they had skirted around conversations defining what they really meant to each other. Everyone knew they'd been friends forever and just assumed they were either together or headed in that direction.

She planted a kiss on his lips and mumbled, "You're not the only one who's carried away. I want this, too."

That was all he needed to hear. They resumed kissing and his hands were everywhere, gripping her hip with one as the other plunged into her hair. He rolled his hips into her center causing soft moans to leave her puffed lips. She could feel the heat of his erection as the friction between their bodies made her crazy. They panted breathlessly from the kisses as he began to lift the t-shirt clearly over her head, but not before locking eyes with her as if to ask ' _Are you sure_?'

She nodded her confirmation.

He planted kisses along her neck, shoulders and her collarbone as she sighed. When he reached her bra, he hesitated before grazing his teeth over her cloth-covered nipples and sending shivers throughout her body. She arched her back as he reached behind her to unfasten the clasp of the contraption. It took him a little while and she couldn’t help but smile at his mumbled apology. He stared in wonder before moving the straps past her shoulders and taking one succulent nipple into his mouth and caressing it with his tongue. She laced her fingers through his hair as her blood hummed underneath his mouth and she felt more moisture begin to pool in her panties. He alternated his kissing and stroking of her mounds until she couldn't take it anymore.  She interrupted him only to reach down for the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head.

"Now we match," she said.

The desire to feel his hot skin on hers was overwhelming. They lay there holding each other, pressed chest-to-chest, hard to soft, as their mouths explored further. Her nipples peaked and rubbed against his hairless chest and she swore that this plus his mouth on her neck could make her come. She wanted to be closer, underneath his skin, if that was even possible. He wanted to bury himself inside of her, but the sofa did not allow them the freedom of movement to get close enough.

"Let's go to my room," she whispered in his ear. He looked at her in surprise for a couple of seconds before complying and moving off of her. ' _I never thought we'd be here again,_ ' he thought.

They walked shirtless down the hallway towards her room, his arm around her waist while his finger coiled through a belt-loop of her jeans. When they entered her room, the sweetness of holiday smells filled his nostrils. He noticed a tiny, lighted Christmas tree in the corner and smiled at the innocence of it all. As strong and tough as Katniss was, there was still a bit of the little girl in her. And he loved that.

He took her shoulders and turned her to face him. He kissed her gently and unraveled what remained of her braid, spreading her curly, dark hair out along her back and shoulders. The light from the little tree was just enough to see the intensity of his expression. Her heart pounded away as she wondered just how much trouble she was creating for herself by loving a boy that could never fully be hers. Her emotions were on edge, but she'd never needed him more than she did at that moment. She wasn't sure if it was because of the emotions of the holiday season or what.  She missed her dad most at Christmas because it was his favorite season. She felt herself begin to unravel.

He held her gaze and stroked her hair gently. "I love you, Katniss. You know that right?"

A tear rolled down her cheek and a shaky sob escaped her mouth. She knew he loved her as a friend; they'd been through too much together. But she didn't know if his love extended beyond an extreme fondness that grew out of familiarity and teenage attraction.

He pulled her in close.  "Shhh. It's okay. You don't have to say it back. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"No, it's not that. I want to. I'm so sorry. It's just…everything."

Sensing some apprehension on her part, he assured her, "I want more than just this from you."

She shook her head vigorously ' _yes_ ' as if to say ' _I know_ '.  She then laced her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. She responded with her lips, the only way she knew how without totally losing it. The kiss quickly deepened and the fire between them began to rage again.  He paused to speak between kisses as he felt there were words that needed to be spoken before they continued.

"I haven't been like this with anyone else. And I don't want to be."

"Me, too," is all she could manage. Adding more words would only lead to her blubbering in front of him like an idiot and she couldn't risk ruining the moment. He took her reticence for her being unsure about her feelings for him. But, he wasn't deterred. He would wait as long as it took.

She could feel his lips curl into a smile as he raked kisses down the side of her neck. His warm hands covered her back and enveloped her with safety and protection. She knew Peeta would treat her heart with such tenderness. That's why she trusted him so much. As he leaned his forehead against hers, his hands moved around her front to loosen the clasp and zipper on her jeans. He let out a soft growl as he pushed his hands into the cloth and cupped her bottom. Her silky underwear clung to her and tickled her moist center. Peeta kneeled down and pulled her jeans and underwear over her hips and past her knees. On cue, she lifted her feet from their confines and stood before him completely naked. He paused in this position and stared up at her in awe. Their first time together had been so filled with nervousness and anticipation; they had not really taken the time to enjoy each other's bodies. He was thankful for the second chance to be with her.  She reached out one hand to cup his cheek and rake her thumb across his mouth.

"No fair," she whispered. "You still have pants on."

He quickly stood and removed his pants before she had time to offer some assistance. She looked at him standing there naked, a sight that she was too shy to take in on that first night.

' _He's beautiful!_ ' she thought as she scanned his toned body and finally lingered on his stiffness. When her eyes flitted back up to his, they both released nervous laughs just before she took his hand and led him to her bed.

They crawled under the covers and embraced in a passionate kiss as his hand glided down the length of her body and sought out her center. He stroked his finger gently along her thighs and then her folds, making them both gasp into each other's mouths at the contact. Her moistened reaction to him had him mesmerized. He didn’t understand how he had this effect on her, but he sure enjoyed it.  His passion gave way to panic as he realized he didn't bring any protection with him.

"Shit, Katniss.  I'm sorry.  I didn't plan on anything happening," he moaned.

Not to be denied the pleasure of being close to him so easily, Katniss implored, "Do you think you can pull out?"

"Y-Yes."  With an enthusiastic nod, he lowered his mouth to taste her nipples again as she arched her back and rolled her eyes closed. He knew it was risky, that they were being stupid.  But, he was a goner at that point.  Besides, the sounds coming from her mouth were nothing short of angelic. He kissed her again, essentially stopping her moans in her throat as he rolled on top of her and positioned himself at her opening. He slowly pushed himself in at her encouragement and held still while he planted soft kisses around her face. His arms, which were supporting him, began to involuntarily tremble.

"Fuck, you feel even better than I remembered," he growled. "I don't know if I can hold on."

"Are you okay?" she asked breathlessly. He responded with an enthusiastic nod before he began moving inside her again. Some of the first-time awkwardness was still there, but it was very different this time. There was more anticipation and less fear of the unknown. Her moans and responses to his movements pushed him close to the edge shortly after starting. He stopped abruptly and pulled out.

  
"What's wrong?" she asked, startled. 

"You feel so damn good, Katniss. I'm going to finish...I don't want to finish before you." 

"It's okay, Peeta. It felt good."

"No. I want to do this right," he whispered.

He kissed her again lovingly, slower this time. His lips descended to rake over her collar bone and finally lowered to capture her right nipple again. She saw starbursts behind her closed eyes as he worked his tongue slowly and with intent. He stroked her left nipple gently with his thumb, and then alternated. He thought the sight of his fair skin contrasted against her deep complexion was just about the most erotic thing he'd ever seen. He didn't understand why others, primarily his mother, didn't see what he saw.  He loved nothing more than to see the contrast between him and Katniss.  Light to dark.  Hard to soft.  Calm to passionate.  Blonde to brunette.  White to black.  He was the air that fanned her flame.  She was the sun that warmed his cool breeze.

She ran her fingers through his hair and pressed her hips into his body in an attempt to just get closer to him like before.

"Not yet," he said. "Be patient. I want to make you feel good…before...you know."

She wondered what this meant, but didn’t dwell on it as his mouth was working her into a frenzy. She wanted him inside her and the swelling sensation between her thighs was getting unbearable. She began to be suspicious as his mouth discovered her belly button and kissed around it. The feeling was both ticklish and sensual and she let out a ridiculous sounding giggle in spite of herself.

' _So unsexy, Katniss_ ,' she thought. ' _You sound like a juvenile._ ' Unbeknownst to her, that giggle would become one of the things that he'd reminisce about most when he went away to college. He loved her laugh. She did it so rarely.

She entertained some thoughts as to what he was about to do, but was apprehensive. Johanna and the other girls at school had talked about how good _it_ felt. Her initial reaction upon listening to them had been one of disgust. ' _Why would anyone want to be kissed down there? Dirty things come out of there._ '

Within minutes, Peeta would help her answer that question without even knowing it. His kisses descended lower…and lower…and lower until finally they were on her hips and around the hairline of her center. He gently pried her legs more open with his warm, hard baker's hands and kissed the insides of her thighs to stall for time and gather his own nerves. Her thighs began to shake at the thought of him being this close to her.

_What was he going to do?_

_Would he touch it…look at it…or do something else?_

She felt self-conscious, vulnerable and exposed; yet horny and curious.  He ran his thumb along her folds to open her up and take a look what his hands had already explored. The light cast by the tree was just enough to make out what he'd missed during their frantic first time together.

"God, Katniss. It's so beautiful. And wet." Her face flushed hot and her legs moved to shut him out.

 "I'm sorry. Please don't. It's just the hottest damn thing I've ever seen in my life." He chuckled and stroked his hands along her thighs until she relaxed, giggling. "Besides, it's just me down here."

 "Okay," she giggled. "But no more commentary on what my twat looks like."

"Oh," he said with darkened desire.  "I don't think I'll be saying anything for a while."  The thickness in his response made his intent to taste her apparent.

The decidedly sweet and feminine smell of her had intoxicated him during this little exchange. She mewed softly as he resumed applying sloppy, wet kisses to her inner thighs that made them relax open further. The first contact was a little awkward as he forgot what to do with his teeth. He felt Katniss flinch slightly and gasp.

"Sorry," he mumbled against her skin.

He'd heard first-hand accounts of his brothers' escapades since he knew what sex was. He felt it was their off-handed way of looking out for him by telling him things no one else would. In his nervousness, he had momentarily forgotten what Deacon had said after a particularly hot date: ' _You kiss it like you would her mouth, Peet. No teeth. Treat the little nub like her tongue. Pressure is good, but don't suck too hard. Trust me, baby bro. I've gotten accolades for my technique._ '

He felt Katniss' hips begin to move and her muscles clench with certain motions of his tongue. Her hands gripped the bed sheets next to her hips as she thrust them forward. A sense of pride grew in his chest as he made her cry into the night for the first time, indicating that he was doing it right. He continued his gentle assault as his confidence increased. His arms were wrapped around the outside of her hips as his hands curled around to grip her thighs and hold them open. She arched her back up off the bed, writhing and moaning.

"Ungh!"

He released one hand to stroke his finger beside his tongue. She threw her head back as if she was possessed.  He fought back a smile which threatened to loosen the lock his lips had on her clit. He thought, ' _Now I've got something to tease you with and make you blush.'_

He inserted a couple of his fingers into her hot opening and curled them forward, all the while continuing his explorations with his tongue. That's when the dam broke and he felt her muscles clench around his fingers as she released for him. She couldn’t control the moans and cries coming from her lips. She’d never felt anything so magnificent in all her life! The world went black all of a sudden and all she could feel was Peeta’s ministrations at her center, pulling her over the edge in an unbridled frenzy. Her walls contracted and released, sending shivers throughout her body and fluid rushing to his mouth. The feeling of her juices on his hands and in his mouth threatened to make Peeta come right then and there. But, he steadied himself and continued to lick and taste her until her moaning subsided. His growing hardness was becoming awkward to manage in that position.  

He kissed her vibrating thighs and her stomach and left behind a scented reminder of this first experience for the both of them.  He returned to her and kissed her own taste into her mouth. She didn't flinch or turn away as he'd expected her to, but engulfed his mouth with hers as the realization of their deepening bond overcame any embarrassment she may have had earlier. Her chest was heaving and she trembled as a light sheen of sweat covered her body.

' _She has no idea how fucking beautiful she is right now_ ,' he thought but did not dare say out loud.

When she resumed a steady breath, he whispered, "I'm sure I'll get better at that." 

"Are you kidding me? That was incredible! I never knew...gah, Peeta! I thought you said there'd been no one else. Where the hell did you learn that?"

His eyes widened in a brief moment of panic as he assured her that she had been _IT_.

"Let's just say...a little internet research and Deacon's instructions helped." She hid her embarrassment in his massive chest as she reminded herself to avoid Peeta's brother for the next 100 years. He rotated them onto their sides, facing each other, and wrapped his arms around her.

Feeling the need to make her blush a little more, he said, "Oh, by the way. You're delicious." 

"Peeta!" 

"I'm serious," he chuckled and pushed her away just enough to look into her eyes. "I can't wait to do that again. And, hopefully, it won't be another eight months." His tone took on more seriousness as she lazily stroked the hills and valleys of his muscular arms. "I don't want to be with anyone else, Katniss. I want you to be my girl."

She didn't know what to say, how to respond. The only things that came to mind would have ruined the moment.

' _What about your mother? How do you explain us to her, Peeta? '_

_'What about the black eye you got the last time you stood up to her, Peeta?'_

She put all these questions aside and decided to just live in the moment. It was Christmas, after all.

She responded with another kiss and reached down to take him into her hand. She stroked his length nervously at first, but when she elicited a sharp gasp from him she became bolder. There was a slick pool of liquid gathering at the tip and she curiously rubbed her thumb over it, spreading it over the top and around his head. He thrust forward and let out a sharp gasp.

' _Now who's moaning? Hmmm?_ ' she thought. She wasn't quite ready to take him into her mouth, but promised herself that she'd do her own internet research later. He moaned and moved his hips in rhythm with her hand as she spread the slick liquid all around. He'd made her feel so good that she was determined to show him how important his pleasure was to her.

"Oh, baby. That feels so good." Their tongues danced frantically around each other as he gasped into her mouth. He thought of all the times he'd worked himself into coming just thinking of their first time. And here they were again, only this time she was touching him and responding to him with more than just curiosity and nervousness. There was want...real and raw and pure... between them.

He couldn't bear it a second longer. "Oh...Katniss. I have to...be inside you."

"Come here," fell from her lips shamelessly.

He swiftly rolled them over so that he was on top again and entered her with one smooth stroke. With the painful barrier gone, the slickness of his descent into her caused them both to cry out simultaneously. A wave of dizziness enveloped her senses as he slowly stroked in and out of her. After a few minutes, his movements went from slow and deliberate to intense and commanding.

"Raise your knees, baby," he whispered into her mouth. The darkened tint and heat in his eyes hardened his normally boyish features into something that was extremely manly and sexy without being dangerous.

' _I'd do just about anything you'd ask me right about now,_ ' is the thought that prevailed in her head.  

But, under the circumstances, all she could manage was a look of confusion and, "What?"

The things he was doing to her caused her head to go cloudy and she could only concentrate on the incredible feeling that was building within her.

Instead of repeating himself, he reached down and pulled her knees up, one at a time. "It's supposed to make it feel better."

' _Can it get any better?_ ' she thought. His thrusts provided the answer to that question as the new angle deepened the feeling and caused a ball of fire to descend from her navel down to her center.

"Oh…Peeta…God," were the only coherent words that fell from her lips. She scooted lower underneath him and placed her feet on the backs of his thighs as he pushed in and out of her. She gripped his behind and leaned up to capture his mouth in a heated kiss. He leaned on his elbows, careful not to place all of his weight on her. They panted into each other's mouths, unable to sustain a kiss for more than a couple of seconds.

"Sweet Jesus, Katniss, you're so tight."

Her muscles began to clench around him, drawing him in further. She could feel him harden and stiffen gloriously inside her. He felt a fresh wave of her fluid engulf him as her body convulsed and she cried out once more, her thighs gripping his hips even tighter. The feeling of her collapsing around him and enfolding him drew an elongated whimper from his lips as he knew he was close.

He braced himself on his elbows and pushed his hips, albeit reluctantly, away from hers as he finished on the inside of her thigh.

' _That was close,_ ' he thought.  He didn’t have time to be embarrassed. She felt too damn good for that. He’d just have to deal with her teasing later.

* * *

They lay there in each other's arms in the stillness of the room, applying gentle kisses and touches randomly. But, instead of teasing, she broke the silence with a question that had been plaguing her for months.

"Why me, Peeta? Of all the girls...you could have anyone you want…why?"

She could feel his body shift as he moved to look down at her. "Seriously, Katniss? Are you seriously asking me that?"

 "I need to know." He took in her expression and understood that trying to interpret her feelings was useless. He just needed to answer the question.

“Don’t you think you’re beautiful? I mean…why not you?”

“Well, I’m nothing special, Peeta.” He looked at her admonishingly as if he disagreed, “But I also know there are pretty girls that throw themselves at you on a daily basis. Nice girls that your mom would approve of.”

“You mean white girls," was more a statement than a question.  "I don't care about that and really don't want to give credence to it.  And, please let’s not talk about my mom.”

“Okay, but what is it about me? Why? I don’t understand and I’m trying to.”

He looked flustered and a tad bit put out at her question, “Well, do you not want to do this anymore, Katniss? Is that it? I mean we can stop and go back to being…just friends…if…that’s what you want. I’d understand if it is. Just know that it’s not what I want.”

Her eyes widened as she grabbed his shoulder, realizing her mistake. “No! No, Peeta. I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. Look, if we’re going to do this thing, I need to know why you like me so much. Why am I worth the trouble?”

"Why are you worth the…trouble?” He couldn’t believe that the strongest, most beautiful woman he’d ever met was asking him why she was worth the trouble. He felt as though he’d brought nothing but trouble into her life with his mother’s horrible ways.

‘ _I really don’t deserve her_ ’ he thought. But, she wasn’t joking. She was looking at him with this expectant look and he wasn’t about to let her down. Again.

“Well…when I first saw you, I thought you were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen and I thought you had the coolest hair ever."  
 She moved her head away slightly to glance up at him. His blue eyes were sincere and a small smile played around his lips. He kissed her gently on the nose before he continued.

"You were so different from the girls my brothers always drooled over. So, at the tender age of six, I admit it was purely physical."

He took a deep breath and pulled her in closer. "But, then I got to see how you were with your family. I admired the closeness you guys had. It was something I really only share with my dad and Deacon. When your father died, you took care of Prim like you were an adult while your mom figured things out. I saw your strength and was in awe that you could do that at such a young age." He drew lazy circles on her lower back as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"You're loyal and fiercely protective of those you love; sometimes to a fault [ahem]...Gale." He waited for a reaction from her but got only a soft chuckle.

"You don't take crap from anyone, even my mother. You never compromise who you are to please others or to fit in. You genuinely care about helping people and making sure there's fairness in this world. I know that's why you say you want to be a lawyer. You love animals and old people, and that tells me what kind of heart you have. And you're all these things without truly understanding just how hot you are. Have I stroked your ego enough or can I stop now?"

"You can stop now because you're being silly," she chuckled. She thought back on all of the things they'd experienced together over the years. How could she make him understand her fierce desire to protect him, as well as herself, from the hurtful things people would have to say. People like his mother.

"I guess it's only fair to ask you the same. Why do you even spend time with me?" He ceased stroking her back to look at her again. "You could have practically any guy at District High. Guys who's mothers aren't total...aren't like mine; who'd accept you. Yet, you put up with my mom's shit..."

She tried to shush him, knowing that this particular topic always got him worked up. It usually ended with an argument between the two of them and she just didn't want to ruin the perfect evening they'd had.

"Peeta, please. Like you said…let's not discuss your mom."

"No, Katniss. It's only fair." He grasped her shoulders to move her back to look at him. He wanted her to see his sincerity. "I'm so sorry. I just wish things were different. If they were, you'd have had dinner with my family today. I wouldn't have to sneak over here to see you. I could've kissed you under the mistletoe right in front of my parents. I could've taken you to winter formal instead of Madge. So, it's fair to ask you, why me?"

She knew she was sliding down a slippery slope that would deliver her right to his front door. The more her rational mind told her to distance herself from Peeta emotionally, the more her feelings got in the way and did all the driving for her. She attempted to make light of the heaviness of the subject by joking.

"In the beginning it was definitely the iced cookie. I have a big sweet tooth." He tweaked her nose with his thumb and forefinger, causing her to giggle.

"But, by freshman year, that spandex wrestling uniform had a lot to do with it. And you have quite possibly the softest lips I've ever kissed." She reached her hand up to run her finger over his bottom lip. Much to his surprise, he felt himself twitching below at her slightest touch.

"Wait. What do you mean the softest? Who have you kissed besides me?" 

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I would."

He proceeded to tickle her unmercifully until she screamed with laughter and admitted she'd not kissed anyone else…unless...

"…you count that game of spin the bottle in sixth grade when Cato Mitchell's turn landed on me. I had to pry him off me. Or the time that Gale and I were playing house in the second grade…"

"Alright, alright. I've had enough."

He scowled at her playfully and reminded her that Delly was still single. Peeta could always make her laugh, no matter the situation. Being in his presence just made everything fall into place. Her heart ached when she thought of all they could have shared if his mother had just been different. The horseplay ended with a passionate kiss as she thought, ' _Damn you, Peeta! I've been falling head over hills for you since the first grade._ '

"But, seriously, I put up with it because...you're worth it. Just being around you is worth it." He gazed into her eyes as if her words were music to his ears. "You make even horrible situations better just by being there. You make me feel safe and like none of the bad stuff really matters."

He thought his heart would burst open as he leaned down to kiss her, but she stopped him. She gathered her strength from the semi-darkness and by focusing her gaze on his chest.

"Hold on. I'm not finished. You have the purest heart of almost anyone I know. It's so rare, but I see it in you and I see it in Prim. You really do want the best for everyone around you. You put the needs of others before your own. You play to win, but never at the expense of someone else. You're smart, compassionate and you make the world better just by being in it. You make me smile when I don't want to. I can be having the worst day...and when I see you or talk to you, it all disappears."

She added with a seductive whisper, "And just recently here, you can add that thing you do with your _tongue_." He laughed as his heart soared. She hadn't quite said the words I love you, but he was sure they were lurking around in that passage somewhere. It was good enough for now. He gathered her in his arms and whispered in her ear hoping to give her a little more inspiration to say the words herself. He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face so that she had no choice but to look directly at him.

"Katniss...um... I know you're a private person…and…I've never been good at holding things in. But, I don't want to be with anyone else and I want you to be my girlfriend."

When they were younger, he was content to play the role of a treasured friend in exchange for being in her presence. It was becoming more difficult to not want more. He stroked his finger along the side of her face before finishing. "Because I do love you. No matter what Gale says, I don’t just want sex. I mean sex is…whoa…awesome…yeah, but I'd do anything for you...to make you happy. We don't have to tell anyone if you don’t want to. As long as we know."

The idea of being his girlfriend made her heart dance. She could never fathom saying 'no' to Peeta; for anything. She knew she already had all she wanted from him and didn't need a title. But, this was important to him. Everyone assumed they were together anyway, so what would be the harm?...as long as Evelyn Mellark didn't find out.

"Peeta... I..."

He shushed her with a kiss because he knew the words that she couldn't bring herself to say were just below the surface of her thick armor. He didn't want to hear them out of reciprocation or because he asked. He could wait. Besides, he felt he already knew she did and would say it when she was ready. The three magical words nearly rolled off her lips until her too-rational brain redirected them.

"Peeta, I..."

His heart was beating nervously. "Yeah?"

"I'm fine with it...being your girlfriend."

It wasn't all that he was hoping to hear, but he was happy none the less. She thought that saying those three words would only confuse the situation and make it that much harder to let him go when the time came. And she was absolutely certain that time would come. Dread filled her heart to its capacity. She'd spent her childhood practicing how to let go. She never wanted anything to hurt as much as losing her father had. And she was sure that losing Peeta could come pretty damn close. They sealed it with a kiss.

"I guess I'd better go on the pill if we plan to keep doing this."

He kissed her on the tip of her nose and asked, hopefully, "D-Do we plan to keep doing this?"

She tried to stop the smile from consuming her _entire_ face, but replied as soberly as she could, "I'll allow it."  

He kissed her again before rolling onto his back and pulling her into his side.  She placed her hand over his rapidly beating heart, promising that she would memorize its rhythm for when he'd leave at the holiday's end.

"Peeta? Merry Christmas."

 "Yeah," he whispered. "Merry Christmas, Katniss."


	2. Bells Will Be Ringing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a prequel to Scent of A Woman and takes place during the first Christmas break of K&P's freshman year in college. Peeta's home for a visit and fireworks ignite! Very lemony so clutch your pearls and come along for the ride.
> 
> I do not own The Hunger Games trilogy or its characters.

**December 2008, Katniss' & Peeta's Freshman Year in College**  
  
 _Peeta:  I can't wait to see you._

  
Peeta texted her between connecting flights on his way back home to Arizona from Georgia. Christmas was a little more than a week away and Katniss found it hard to mask her excitement. She'd only seen him for one day during the Thanksgiving break since his mother had decided that was the perfect time to take a family trip to see relatives all the way north of the state. The sexy texts and late-night video chats weren't enough to fill the void from summer to damn-near-winter. She smiled at her phone and pictured his face before texting back.

  
 _Katniss:  I miss you._

  
_Peeta: Like crazy._

  
It was something they'd started when he went away to school. They always ended their conversations that way. It was her way of compensating for the words she just couldn't bring herself to say. "I Love You."

  
 _Katniss:  Don't even say hello first. Just kiss me._

  
When he arrived at her door six hours later, he did just that. She'd opened the door to find his hands reaching out to grab her and pull her onto the porch. He pressed his nose to hers and smiled longingly into her eyes before capturing her lips with his. He pulled her in closer with his palms nestled in her hair and let out a soft moan against her lips.

  
"I didn't know if your mom and Prim would be around and I couldn't wait to do that. Can you tell how much I've missed you?"

  
"I sure can." She smiled mischievously and pressed her hips into his to feel a budding stiffness in his pants. His ears reddened with embarrassment which he quickly shot down to reclaim another kiss. She pulled away to take in the sight of his face, which she'd only seen via video chat for the last four months.

"They're not here but they're probably on their way back from the mall."

  
The glee of seeing each other again far outweighed the disappointment in discovering that there would be little alone time in their near future. They went inside for a re-acquaintance and passionate make-out session on the sofa. They kissed sensitive places and cooed their longings and desires into each other's mouths before readying themselves for Prim and Mrs. Everdeen to make their appearance from the garage. Prim suspiciously eyed the pillow perched on Peeta's lap when she entered the living room.

' _I swear I don't know how she manages to just know these things at her age,_ ' thought Katniss.

After recovering from their kisses, Peeta volunteered to help her mother with lunch in the kitchen and spent the entire time chatting her up about his first semester in college. He'd always had a way of charming others, unlike Katniss. And Iris Everdeen was not immune to those charms. Although she did not like the situation with his mother, she was very fond of Peeta. When he was around, her daughter lightened and seemed to float on air. He was respectful, helpful and kind without seeming condescending or manipulative. Still, she issued a word of caution to her older daughter.

"I can tell that Peeta cares a great deal about you. But, just understand this: as long as he's under her roof, her rules will win out. That woman is mean, miserable, prejudiced and a major control freak. You're my daughter and it's my job to protect you. I love Peeta. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Katniss thought back to a time when Iris Everdeen seemed only _vaguely_ aware of the fact that she even _had_ two daughters to protect. Shortly after Mr. Everdeen died, her mother became completely disconnected from her and seven-year old Prim until Katniss, in a fit of rage, told her how ashamed her husband would be if he could see her. She watched as the woman began to slowly emerge from the foggy haze she'd erected around herself to guard against the pain of losing the love of her life. Even during that time, Peeta and Gale, in their own ways, had held Katniss steady.

She remembered the time her mother had forgotten to pay the electricity bill and proceeded to go to bed, unconcerned with the impact to her daughters. Peeta, who was only fourteen at the time, had biked over to her house with warm food, fresh bread and flashlights. Katniss was initially so embarrassed that she could hardly look at him as they sat on the floor eating the food he'd taken from the bakery. His kind and genuine spirit worked its way into her heart slowly over the evening until she could no longer treat him coldly. It was one of the many things that constantly drew her to him. He never gave up on those he loved.

Things were now much improved at home since Iris was more engaged and had taken steps to secure a living for her girls and herself. Although they were nowhere near being worry-free, they had all that they needed. Peeta was technically no longer under his mother's roof, but he was still financially supported by her. Katniss was sure to remind him of this fact every chance she got.

Prim and Iris excused themselves after wishing Peeta one final welcome home. He and Katniss traded more freshman year stories and he really did try very hard not to be jealous when she mentioned male classmates; just as she took each reference to a female with a disinterested nod and an indecipherable clench of her fist. She trusted Peeta, but he was a sweet, attractive boy who was also completely unaware of the motives of horny college women.

They held hands and smooched and talked until the ringing of his cellphone brought them out of their reverie. It was his mother calling. "You've hardly spent any time with your family since you got here. Does that girl have you bewitched or something? Get home now, Peeta."

  
She could see his jaw tighten as he listened to the woman he called mother and she knew it couldn't be good. "I'll be right there, mother," was all he said. He didn't wait for a response, but simply ended the call.

  
He waved the phone dismissively in the air before reaching out to stroke her hand with his other. The move she made to avoid his grasp would have been indecipherable by anyone but Peeta. He knew her too well.

  
She cursed herself and her own naïveté for thinking things would be different now that he was, technically any way, an adult. ' _Did you really expect to have him all to yourself, Katniss? Really? It is the holidays. There's no way that woman will leave him a spare minute to spend with you, of all people. Might as well accept it now_.' As hurtful as she knew it was to Peeta, she couldn't stop herself from protecting her feelings by shutting them down. In this way, she knew she was more like Iris Everdeen than she cared to admit. She also knew that this would not last long. Peeta had a way of drawing her out from herself even when she didn't want to be.

  
"I'm sorry, but, I have to go." His eyes were as apologetic as his words. They delivered a silent message of _Please don't hate me_ and _It's okay to love me, really_.

  
Although her verbal response said she understood, her head and heart were heavy with feelings swirling around and she didn't know where to place them. What made her think that this would get less complicated? Why had she thought that his being away would make this easier? Why did his mother hate her so much? It was the most natural thing in the world to her, the way she felt for Peeta. Why couldn't he just stand up to his mother?

  
Of course, she knew the answer to that last question. She, herself, constantly reminded him that he needed his mother's support until graduation. Although Peeta's father ran the bakery and made it a success, it was his mother's family's money that saved it from bankruptcy years ago. She had never let Mr. Mellark live down the fact that she thought he was an utter failure as a husband and a business man.

  
Whenever Katniss felt Peeta building his confidence to confront his mother, she would stop him, remembering the incident with the rolling-pin years ago. She told herself she was protecting him; that she didn't want him to suffer for a relationship with her. But, greater than the fear that he would never stand up to Evelyn Mellark was the fear that he would fight for her and be disappointed in the outcome. Maybe even resentful. She couldn't possibly live up to the fantasy that he'd spent thirteen years building up. And she hated herself for being the walking clod of contradiction that seemed to dominate her feelings.

  
"Katniss, please don't be upset."

  
"I'm not upset. I just missed you, that's all. Go spend time with your family." She patted his hand reassuringly.

  
"I'd much rather be here...pretending I don't want to make love to you while Prim spies on us."

  
"Your mother's right, Peeta. Family's important. Go home. Say hello to Deacon and your dad for me...and Vigo, too."

  
He scanned her face for signs of shutting down and saw none...yet. All he wanted was to make things right and to show her what she meant to him. If only she could understand that his plan was a long-range one; to reveal that to her now would be silly and foolhardy. It would take time and a certain amount of financial freedom. Still, she confused him by being warm and inviting one minute and distant and cold the next. She insisted upon him not confronting his mother but seemed to grow sullen if he didn't. But, he loved her all the same. That he was a goner was established at the tender age of six.

  
She waited until after he left to rip up the letter confessing her undying love for him. She'd held onto it for a couple of months and never got up the nerve to mail it, telling herself it would be easier to just give it to him once he came home. Perhaps she could give it to him just before he boarded the plane to go back to school. Then she wouldn't have to deal with the crushing disappointment that was sure to follow. The last ten minutes of her life had done wonders in erasing the courage she'd spent four months building up. One call from his mother had shocked her back into reality like a bucket of cold water on a sleeping drunk. She had indeed been drunk.  Drunk with him.  But, she was now sober.

* * *

Finnick, of course, was having a Christmas party. He could hardly wait to celebrate the holiday homecoming with his friends. College was fun, but he had not been able to form the types of connections he had here at home. Although he'd flown in from UPenn a week prior, he had yet to see his father. The elder O'Dair was always traveling on business which always seemed to turn into pleasure. Finnick had been left to his own devices for the most part since he was sixteen. That complete freedom combined with wealth and extreme good looks made him a very popular member of the District High varsity basketball team.

  
Of all the guys in their little group, Finnick was the most outgoing. He, Gale and Thresh were the powerhouses of the basketball team. Peeta chose to stick to wrestling and football and excelled in academics. Marvel, the science nerd of the group, did not play sports at all.

  
These little gatherings at Finn's house served several purposes. First, they kept Finn from getting lonely. All of his friends knew that his generous, gregarious nature was an attempt to fit in and have people around him constantly. He reserved his softer, deeper side for those closest to him, like Peeta and Thresh. Secondly, they served as a way for all of the friends to keep in touch. Many of them had been friends since as early as first grade, with Johanna and Rue coming along in middle school. Finn's place just seemed to be the natural meeting place.

  
And, last but not least, the large O'Dair home, with its minimal parental supervision and multiple bedrooms, was the most popular hook-up spot in town. With Finn's dad out of town most of the time, there was rarely a need for his underage friends to try sneaking into hotel rooms. The housekeeper, Marcy, was fond of Finnick and the closest thing to a mother he'd ever known. She was always around to make sure things did not get too out of hand. As long as nothing burned to the ground and the police never showed up and they allowed her to read in peace, she didn't ask too many questions.

  
"Merry Christmas, asshole!" Finnick was already three drinks in before his guests started arriving. He greeted Peeta with a bro-hug that always signaled that he was damn near drunk. Katniss had arrived earlier with Rue, who was now seated on Thresh's lap and making out hard and heavy. Peeta made a beeline for her across the room and scooped her into a warm hug. Most of their friends were unaware of the new direction in their relationship. Her involuntary flinch was noticeable only to Peeta as she casually glanced around to see if anyone would pick up on it. She'd only told Gale and Delly, who weren't the least bit surprised. And she was certain Peeta had shared the news with Finnick. The rest were clueless.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, confused by her reaction, "Hey. What's the matter? I missed you."

"You just saw me yesterday." She looked up at him and couldn't help the googly-eyed blush on her face. She immediately felt ashamed of how her words sounded when they came out.  She felt even worse for the momentary shade that crossed his face when he heard them.  

In spite of all this, she knew she was still a little pissed about their interrupted reunion the day before.  After he left her house, she spent the rest of her waking hours convincing herself that Peeta was better off not knowing how she felt.  His mother would never allow him to be with her without consequence.  She'd just simply enjoy this Christmas break with him and would begin to put distance between them once he returned to school.  She knew she was being selfish and questioned her own strength when it came to Peeta, for he seemed to have this effect on her.  He could crumble her no-nonsense shield, that she had come to rely on so much, with one blink of those crystal blue eyes.

"So?" he replied.  As much as her words stung, he knew Katniss better than most people did.  Her blunt words were usually used as armor to protect a heart that was more tender than most people realized.  He knew better.  He moved in closer by a couple of inches, his nose nearly touching hers, "A couple hours on your sofa did nothing to quench my thirst."  

He thought he saw her eyes soften, but he could tell she was still ' _on stage_ ' in front of their friends.  Katniss ducked his silent quest for a kiss by leaning up on her tiptoes and throwing her arms around him for another ' _friendly'_ hug. What she didn't know was that Johanna Mason, who missed nothing, was eyeing them from across the room as if they were a new toy under the Christmas tree.

"Hey, everybody. Who's up for a rousing game of _I Never_?" She addressed the group but kept her stare trained on the not-so-incognito couple in the corner of the room. _  
_

Johanna was a first class agitator who got the biggest kick out of making others uncomfortable. She was a tall, attractive, thin brunette who masked her secret pain by being loud, brash and promiscuous. She didn't make too many friends when she first started as the new kid in their school.  The rumor around school was that her stepfather, Coriolanus Snow, had sexually and mentally abused Johanna as a child. Her mother's solution to the problem was not to divorce the evil man, but to send her daughter away to live with relatives in Arizona. Thresh had overheard his mother, their middle school guidance counselor, telling his aunt on the phone one night.

He had despised Johanna until that very moment. Upon returning to school the next day, he encouraged everyone to be nice to her and give her a chance. She was never one to open up and discuss her feelings, so everyone just let her be. Her fun-loving personality and tenacity won her easy access to the group of close-knit students.  Over time, she proved to be the most loyal friend to all who knew her and would give the shirt off her back to anyone she trusted.  It just so happened that the circle of people she trusted were contained under the O'Dair's roof at that very moment.  And they all loved her no matter how many times she could make them wince in the space of an hour.

"Everybody form a circle. For you _virgins_ who have never played this, here's how it works." Intentionally or not, she shot mischievous looks at Peeta and Katniss.

"The first player makes a statement beginning with _I Never_ , and hopefully a juicy one. None of that kindergarten shit! Anyone who has done what the first player says they have _not_ done _must_ drink. It continues around the circle with the next person making a statement. The drunkest person at the end of the game is obviously the biggest ho in the room and wins the game…or loses…depends on your perception."

"Well, this game's over. You win, Johanna." Finnick pretended to leave the circle until the laughter from his friends got him the payoff he was looking for. Of all of them, he gave Johanna the hardest time. But, he never pushed it further than he knew she could go. And she always gave right back to him. Now was no exception.

"Very clever, O'Dair! That's what your girlfriend said when I asked her who was the better kisser, you or me." The room erupted in laughter as it always did when Finn and Jo went head-to-head like this. Jo regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth, but she couldn't let him get the best of her in front of everyone. The look on Annie's face brought her back to her senses. Surely, everyone would know that she was only kidding. Annie never liked their teasing because it was always sexual. Though she knew Finn cared about her, she wasn't comfortable with him and Jo discussing sex so openly with each other. Jo picked up on Annie's cue and shot her an apologetic look before redirecting everyone's attention back to the game.

"Okay, now, assholes. Let's get real. I'll go first."  Johanna lifted her glass, " _I Never_ fucked someone and kept it a secret."

Katniss' cheeks flushed hot.  She knew Jo was directing that at her and Peeta.  She could be a real bitch sometimes, but Katniss refused to play into her hand.  So, she waited quietly until half the group  had their heads buried in their drinks and the other half were too busy gasping at Jo's comment.  She removed herself from the circle and slowly inched towards the door leading outside to the pool. She always thought drinking games were stupid and this one was downright juvenile.

She had no desire to expose her bedroom experience in front of even her closest friends. Besides, she and Peeta couldn't avoid glancing shyly at each other.  His cheeks grew redder by the minute.  Eventually, everyone would find out about them.  Most of them suspected anyway.  She didn't know why she was being so secretive about this.  Wait.  Yes, she did.  His mother, the racist.  But, mother or not, it was her business to tell or keep.  And she was damned if she was going to reveal her personal secrets during a dumb drinking game.  If Peeta didn't like it, then too bad. 

She hovered around the door leading to the pool area and deliberately caught Peeta's eye as she placed her hand on the knob. Johanna pretended not to notice as she slipped out the back. Everyone else, except Gale, was too drunk or engrossed in the game to care.

Winter days in Arizona were the stuff dreams were made of with its low humidity and temperatures in the sixties. Nighttime was a different story with the gauge dropping to as low as the upper thirties. This presented the perfect excuse to hopefully snuggle up to Peeta and get away from their rowdy friends for a bit. She hoped he'd gotten her cue.

She spotted a double-wide chaise near the garden wall of the pool and took a strategic spot there. She leaned back and just let the quiet envelop her, but could still hear the low hum of the laughter from within telling her that her friends were having a good time. Within minutes, Peeta was at her side holding a blanket.

  
"Finnick was just sober enough to slip me this on the way out."   She glanced at the blanket and knew that their secret was no longer really a secret.  Finnick, as sweet as he was, was not a master of subtlety.  She was sure the entire room had seen him give Peeta the blanket, and maybe even a dirty wink besides.  She decided that maybe she was being entirely to silly about all of this.

"What happened to the game? Is it over already?"

"Well, Johanna tried to start a game of Twister. Things looked promising until she tried to turn it into Naked Twister and lost most of her participants."

Katniss rolled her eyes and groaned and Peeta thought it was the cutest  thing he'd ever seen.  "Mind if I join you?"

"I'd be upset if you didn't."

He sat next to her and draped the blanket across their laps. Then he reached around and gathered her in his arms as they reclined back. Finnick's backyard had a perfect view of the mountains and the stars shone brightly on such a crystal clear night. Peeta thought this was just about the most romantic spot he'd ever seen. Katniss thought she'd never felt safer and warmer than she did at that very moment. He turned to look down at her and she gazed up at him.

"Hey," he said with a smile so wide she thought he could light up the entire back yard. His eyes darted down to her lips as he licked his own.

"Hey," she uttered back just before his lips touched hers. She could taste the combination of his cherry lip balm and peppermint candy on his mouth. _I see you came prepared,_ she thought silently with a smile so devious it threatened to break the seal on their kiss. The warmth, sweetness and moisture of his mouth on hers drove every coherent thought from her head the moment their lips collided. Her hand snaked up and gripped the fabric of his thermal Henley just near his collarbone as he let out a soft moan, deep and low. She pulled him in closer to further deepen the kiss. He fingered the tendrils of hair behind her ear and gently twirled them around his finger. It was a habit of his that made her squeeze her thighs together each and every time.

She knew before the kiss was over that she had to find a way to get closer to him. Tonight. He raked his tongue across her bottom lip and it was her turn to moan. He took advantage of the opening to gently pull her tongue into his mouth and stroke it with his. The contrast of the warm kiss and the cold night made him want to block the rest of the world out and freeze this moment so he could live in it forever. But, that moment was not to last for long as they were startled out of their trance by an abrupt clearing of someone's throat.

"Can't a man take a decent smoke break without having to hose you two down?"  Gale hovered just behind the chaise they occupied, holding a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He'd only been smoking a couple of weeks, having started during his first semester finals. Katniss had already given him grief about it. ' _Don't come running to me when your lungs look like an 80-year old coal miner's in 10 years_.'

Katniss reluctantly removed her hand, which had found its way underneath Peeta's shirt, and used it to straighten their clothing and the blanket.

"Great timing, Gale." She gave her friend a look that could melt ice.

"And, I don't even want to know what's going on under that blanket," Gale shot back.

Katniss let out a long, exasperated breath and looked at Peeta apologetically before confronting her friend. "Do you need something?"

"Only to take a damn smoke break in peace. O'Dair doesn't allow smoking in his house. I'll be done in just a minute." He glared at Peeta as he took a seat on a chaise just across from them.

Katniss intercepted the looks passing between the two and decided to practice her conflict resolution skills. But, at the moment, nature was calling. She'd have to leave these two alone by the pool to visit the lady's room. Gale's eyes followed her into the house, making Peeta's blood boil. Once Katniss was inside, he turned to Peeta with a smirk.

"So, Mellark."

"Hawthorne."

"How are things at Georgia Tech?" he asked in a tone that did little to mask the fact that he didn't care for the man and couldn't give less than a damn about his college career.

"They're fine, but I'm glad to be home and see everyone I've missed." Peeta met his gaze in an attempt to drive his not-so-subtle message home.

"What? Really? You mean you won't miss being around all those pretty, blonde, horny...southern sorority girls?" He drew the last words out long and slow as he accentuated the question with a tug on his cigarette. He stared the blonde man down.

  
Peeta narrowed his eyes at Gale and swung his legs over the side of the chaise so they could face each other. "Not particularly."

Gale removed the cigarette from his lips slowly and uttered, "Hmph.  Interesting."

Not one to overlook backhanded comments, Peeta questioned, "What are you getting at, man?"

Peeta glared at the insanely good-looking man whom he'd had initially assumed was Katniss' cousin since they looked so much alike and their families were so close. He was always hanging around and shared an intimacy with her that was extended to few. But that assumption turned to jealousy when he first realized Gale was not related to Katniss at all.

"What I'm getting at is while she's here crying her damn eyes out missing you," Gale straightened himself and met Peeta's menacing glare, "you better not _fuck_ around and break her heart...or it'll be you, me and the mat, wrestler boy."

Gale took a sip of his beer without so much as a blink. "I've known Catnip since we were born. When our dads died, taking care of her and Prim became as important to me as taking care of my own siblings."

Peeta wasn't the only one in their high school who assumed that Katniss and Gale were related. A star on the school basketball team, Gale was often compared to a young Rick Fox, the former NBA player, in both looks and ability. The extent of his appeal to women was not lost on Gale as he used it to get into many-a-panty. Oddly enough, he seemed to form deep friendships with women who were unimpressed by his looks and athletic prowess: Katniss, Madge, Johanna and Delly.

He was such an ass that Peeta often wondered how someone like Katniss ended up being friends with him for so long. Although the Hawthornes and the Everdeens were not related, they were like family to each other. Their fathers, who had been military buddies right up until their deaths on a mission in Iraq, were best friends and often followed each other from one duty station to the next.

Gale was likable enough when he wasn't acting like Katniss' body guard. But, it seemed whenever Peeta was around, that side of his personality surfaced. So, after all these years Peeta still couldn't stand the guy, telling Katniss, ' _Everytime I try giving him a chance, he pulls some douchebag move to piss me off_.' Tonight would be no exception.

Knowing what he did about the girl he loved, Peeta knew her loyalty to her family ran deep. And Gale was family whether he liked it or not. But, he had suspicions that Gale's feelings for Katniss were beyond platonic, brother-sister love. He recalled a conversation he had with Finnick just before heading off to college. He was prepared to finally approach the topic, which had been percolating for years, out in the open.

* * *

_'Finn, I'm telling you. If I didn't know better I'd say he's got a thing for her. She constantly denies it because she has no idea the effect she has on others. And let's face it, he hates my guts. That tells me all I need to know._ '

 _'Nah, Peet. I think you're being paranoid. Gale's a cool dude. He's just looking out for his friend. Although…_ ' Finnick thoughtfully scratched his cheek and propped his feet up on the Mellark's sofa seconds before Peeta knocked them off again.  ' _She is a very **hot** friend. I mean it would be hard just being around her without catching wood..._ ' His words trailed off as he caught his friend's hardening expression. ' _Sorry, man. But she is hot. Anyway, I think he just doesn't want her to get hurt. I mean, bro, your mom's a bitch_!'

Peeta shushed his friend, ' _Dude, she's right upstairs._ ' Although he knew Finnick rarely spoke ill of others, he was also very candid. And, he was speaking from his own experiences with Evelyn Mellark. Still, hearing his mother being called a name by anyone else but his brothers stung deeply. Knowing that his friend spoke the truth did little to ease the bite of knowing that his mother would never be the kind, loving, warm, understanding person he so needed her to be. He refocused his attention back on Katniss' annoying best friend.

' _He's always filling her head with shit that makes her question what we have. He's always telling her that I have Jungle Fever and that all I want is to have sex with her and move on.  I'm telling you, he's driving a wedge so that he can move in on her once I'm gone_.'

 _'Well_ ,' his friend had advised, _'if he'd wanted to do that, don't you think he's had more than enough chance all these years? But, if you feel that strongly about it, call his fucking bluff. Have a talk with him; man-to-man, chest-to-chest. Know what I mean_?'

* * *

  
Gale continued his rant about his loyalty and deep bond with the Everdeens, occasionally looking around to see if Katniss was coming back.

"I'm there for her whenever your mom's racist comments make her so mad she could chew glass. She turns down other guys worth ten of you to save herself for you. She may love you, but I'll still kick your ass if you fuck over her." Gale grasped his beer bottle with four fingers of his right hand, leaving his index finger to point menacingly towards Peeta.

The truth was, Peeta didn't know if Katniss actually did love him. Everyone else seemed to think so, but she'd never said the words to him herself. Sometimes her actions spoke it, but he was beginning to wonder why she just couldn't say the words.  Peeta took the opportunity to finally tell Gale what he thought of his opinion of him.

"For your information, _I'm_ in love with _her_. I have no intentions of hurting her and I don't need your _sorry_ ass being my watchdog."

"Well, you signed on for me being your watchdog the minute you put your _dick_ in my friend."

Peeta felt his blood boil at the way Gale spoke of their relationship. His first instinct was to tackle the taller man and pummel his face into the concrete right next to the pool. But, he knew he'd not win any points with Katniss by doing so. Instead, he took a deep breath, clenched his fists, squared his shoulders and stood to hover over Gale.

"Don't talk about her like that. And don't make assumptions."

Gale stood up to his full height, a couple of inches taller than Peeta. They were still close enough for their noses to practically touch and looked like two prize fighters prepared to do battle.

Gale broke the staring contest with, "It's not an assumption. I know."

"No one knows but us, and Katniss wouldn't tell you something like that."

" _Cat-nip,_ " Gale said for emphasis, "tells me everything."

"Gale!" Both men swung around to find Katniss standing there, mouth agape and staring at them disbelievingly. Her eyes flitted from Gale to Peeta and back again while her hands closed and opened repeatedly at her sides. She finally found the wherewithal to move closer to them, all the while keeping their shamed faces in her gaze.

"How dare the two of you stand here and discuss me as if I were some kind of…of…thing!" Her breathing became ragged to match the palpitating of her heart.

She turned to Gale and pointed her finger at him for emphasis, "What I do with my body is my business!" She then turned to Peeta, "And what part of my life I _share_ is also my choice!"

Peeta attempted to reach out to soothe her. "Katniss…"

"No! Just...don't…say my name." She positioned herself between the two of them to make her final point. "I know you both think you mean well, but neither of you own me."

Peeta responded defensively, "Don't get mad at me. He's the one that acts like you need a fucking  _handler_. He needs to stay the hell out of our relationship, Katniss."

"He's right, Gale. You've overstepped your boundary."

"Relationship? You call sneaking around a relationship?  Catnip, I'm just looking out for you…"

"Don't!"

"Fine! Don't come running to me when this blows up in your face!"

"I won't! Trust me!" She became immediately embarrassed upon realizing they were shouting. She took a deep breath and lowered her voice to a whisper.

"What Peeta and I do is our business.  If I can't share that with you without consequences, then I won't anymore.  But, it would be nice if you two could at least pretend to tolerate each other.  I'm going back inside." She punctuated her last sentence by pointing her index finger towards the ground. "Fix this shit. Now.  Or I'm leaving."

Peeta reached out as if to grab her arm as she turned to leave, but Gale grabbed his hand with a warning look and a silent shake of his head. Peeta hardened the muscle in his forearm, unsure what the man's intent was. They stayed in that stance, glaring at each other, until Katniss slid behind the patio doors.

"A little piece of advice. When she's pissed, just leave it alone." Peeta violently wrenched his arm from Gale's grasp. He knew he was being an adolescent about it, but the guy really did bring out his bad side.

"I don't need your advice on dealing with my own girlfriend. And just FYI, if I ever did anything to hurt her, you'd be the least of my concern."

"What? Girlfriend? Do my ears deceive me?"  Gale pondered him as if he'd never met him before. "You really are in love aren't you, Blondie?"

"I don't have to confess shit to you, man. This is between me and Katniss." Peeta's eyes burned with fury at his words. Gale's expression changed ever so slightly, bringing some wonderment to mix with the animosity he'd felt earlier.

"Well. Well. Well. What's that southern belle mama of yours gonna think when she finds out the woman you love is not a blonde-haired, blue-eyed carbon copy of herself?"

Peeta shoved one hand deep into his pocket and ambled over to lean against the garden wall, with a beer in his other hand. He looked down at the ground sullenly, recalling that chaotic night in the Mellark household. He'd been so afraid that Deacon was actually going to hit his mom back for the first time in their lives, he was so angry.

"She didn't take it too well."

" _Didn't_?" Gale followed his path and stood before Peeta curiously.

"Let's just say that when my dad took me to the emergency room, he told them I had an accident wrestling with my brothers."

The realization caused Gale to straighten his stance as he realized he was learning more about Peeta Mellark than he'd ever known. "So, southern belle has a good right hook?"

"No." Peeta took a swig of his beer. "Rolling pin."

"Damn!" Gale eyed him with a mixture of disbelief and admiration before slowly nodding his head. "You always were a tough son-of-a-bitch. No pun intended, by the way."

Peeta scoffed, though sadly, but kept his eyes angled towards the ground. Gale thought back to the time in their junior year of high school when Peeta sported a vicious black eye for several weeks, bragging to everyone about how he took both of his brothers on and ended up with the corner of the coffee table in his face.

"Does Katniss know about that?" Gale asked.

"Yeah. I can't lie to her. I can fool just about anyone, except her."

"Then I take back what I said earlier. I guess she doesn't tell me everything."

The two young men sat in silence for several minutes before Gale spoke up.  "Look, Mellark. I don't mean to be a pain in your ass."

"Well, you are." The darker man laughed good-naturedly as Peeta continued. "But, the one thing I respect about you is that I know she'll be taken care of as long as you're around. That's the only reason I tolerate your ass." Peeta took another swig.

"I'm just trying to protect her. I don't want her to be naive.  You know, some dudes want to eat from the high school buffet before moving on to fine dining. She's better than that.  And I will _always_ have her back."  Gale glared at him to drive his point home.  As much as Peeta despised him, he secretly respected the fact that Gale took his role of protector so seriously.

"I knew she felt more for you than she let on and I didn't want her to get hurt by some guy who just wanted a piece of brown ass to brag about." Gale paused to reflect on the cautionary tales he'd dealt Katniss over the years and decided they may have been overkill. Peeta was a good guy. He knew this from watching him over the many years they'd been in school together. But, he never thought anyone was good enough for Katniss...even himself. His instincts also told him that if Peeta's mom took a rolling pin to his face, that it probably wasn't the first time something like this occured in the Mellark household.

He continued, "Then, Katniss started to tell me the things your mother said to her. I warned her about getting too close to you; that if you were from that sort of family then your choices were pretty narrow and she wouldn't be it. I was pissed…mainly at you." He looked at Peeta, whose jaws were clenching with the stale anger of all the unpleasant events from the past. "I couldn't understand why you didn't stand up for her. Now, I have at least some clue. Any man that would take a rolling pin to the face can't be a total pussy."

At that point, Peeta could've launched into a lengthy explanation about why he shielded Katniss from his mother's presence, but he decided that he didn't owe Gale an explanation and that he wasn't sure how much he trusted him anyway.  Peeta felt the time was right to air all of their differences, right there.

"You know, for the longest time I thought you had a thing for Katniss. I still do, sometimes. She denies it though." This time Peeta raised his eyes to study Gale as he spoke, but the other man did not look in his direction. He stared silently at the ground for what seemed like forever before responding.

"Well, Catnip doesn't know everything now, does she?" _I knew it_ , Peeta thought. But, before he could act on the validation of his suspicions, Gale gave him the rest of the story. "But, that was a long time ago. We were kids. And it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that she was all into you. That she only saw me as sort of a big brother." Peeta so desperately wished that he could've seen what others saw so easily back then.

Gale was quick to reassure him, "Hey, man. I got over it, okay? Besides, who helped you guys out on prom night? I mean, I had to hang out with Delly all night long so she could be with you. You two owe me just for that shit alone."

"What? You mean we didn't do you a favor? I thought you always had a thing for Delly." The teasing banter with Gale was still awkward. Peeta was certain that it had everything to do with Katniss' edict and the alcohol, but was grateful to finally discuss their long-standing conflict.

"Yeah, right." They both broke out in laughter as they recounted old stories of lovesick Delly who was always looking for a boyfriend but could never find one. She struggled with this throughout high school in spite of the fact that she was rather attractive; that is, if you could ever shut her up.

"Tell me this Gale. If you had these feelings for Katniss, why'd you do it, then? Why'd you agree to help us out?"

"Katniss made me." He looked at Peeta with a deadly serious stare before a smile spread over his features. "Just kidding...sort of. But, seriously, it's like this, Mellark." Gale turned towards Peeta, leaned one shoulder on the garden wall and crossed his feet at the ankles.

"We were friends long before I had those feelings. If things had turned out differently, I'd have been happy as hell. But, they didn't. I can't change that. But, I still had my friendship with her. I wasn't going to throw that away because I couldn't get over the fact that she chose someone else. That would've been stupid. So, yes, I did it because she wanted me to. But, I also did it because as her friend, I wanted to see her happy. And if that meant her being with someone who was not me, then I would just have to deal with that. And I have. No worries, man. Believe me. If the tables were turned she'd do the same for me."

Peeta nodded as the realization of just how deep their friendship ran began to sink in. He knew he'd never be rid of Gale, so some level of acceptance was necessary. As for respect, that was something they would have to work on. As if reading his mind, Gale spoke up again.

"You might not be so bad, Mellark. But…" he lit up another cigarette. "I'll still punch you in the dick if I have to."

"Duly noted. But, Katniss scares me more than your ass ever could." Gale laughed so heartily at this that smoke spurted out of his mouth and nose.

Peeta felt his angst about the whole Gale-Katniss situation begin to subside.

Gale perked up excitedly all of a sudden, "Besides, I have met the most beautiful girl back at school. If there's any woman to end all of my foolishness, it's her." He stared dreamily out at the landscape as he told Peeta about the girl, Effie, that he'd met at Louisiana State University where he was attending on a basketball scholarship. By the end of his gushing over her, Peeta was pretty sure that his jealousy of Gale was well in check. And just in time, too. Katniss was making a reappearance.

Gale leaned in conspiratorially before she made it over to them. "She puts up walls when she feels vulnerable. She feels vulnerable when she thinks she's lost control. Crack that code and you've figured out the most difficult thing about her. She's worth it."

He ended with a wink and a pat on the back before walking away. He passed Katniss on the way and gave her a playful punch in the shoulder as she eyed him suspiciously and said, "Later." He nodded and rejoined the party, leaving the two lovers alone.

Peeta looked at her sheepishly with his hands in his pockets and feeling slightly buzzed. He couldn't read her face from that distance.  She approached him slowly and he felt the familiar urge to have her closer. He finished closing the distance between the two of them and stood toe-to-toe with her before asking, "Are you still mad at me?"

She shook her head _no_ enthusiastically and he felt the warmth creep back into his body. He removed his hands from his pockets and grabbed both of hers. "Then, come here.

“Well?” she asked

“Well, what?

“How’d it go with Gale?” She raised an eyebrow, expecting an explanation.

“I think we still may hate each other.” Katniss gave him an exasperated roll of her eyes. “But, we do agree on one thing. We both worship Katniss Everdeen."

"Peeta, I'm sorry I was so nasty earlier."

"That's okay.  We don't have to tell everyone until you're ready."

"Well, I told Jo and Madge.  So, between those two, consider everyone else told.  I just want you to know that I'm not ashamed of what we're doing.  I just think this is between us.  And...just...your mom..."

"I know.  And I'm sorry about that.  I just hate that she ruins everything!" Peeta stiffened, but kept his hands firmly on her hips.  She could see his jaw clenching in the moonlight.

"Well, we won't let her ruin tonight."

He leaned down and captured her lips with his. It only took seconds to reignite the fire drenched by Gale's rudeness and thoughts of Peeta's mother. The moderate amount of alcohol Katniss had consumed while inside left her just buzzed enough to lower her inhibitions but not enough to qualify for drunken horniness. She wanted Peeta genuinely and she knew it. Her newfound boldness about their relationship was attributed not only to the alcohol but to the heart-to-heart she'd had with Johanna and Madge in the kitchen when they asked what had her so upset. She told them everything, about their relationship and his mother's reaction to her mere presence.

Both women, in their own way, had told her to give herself permission to be happy in spite of the difficulties that may lie ahead. Madge had taken the _Peeta-cares-about-you-and-nothing-can-change-that_ approach. Johanna, on the other hand, had given her own brusque slant to the situation, telling her ' _He doesn't care whether you're green, black, white or purple. The sun rises and sets in the crack of your ass, as far as he's concerned. Use it or lose, brainless. Mellark's a hottie. Get a clue before some other chick does.'_

Peeta had her back pressed up against the garden wall with his hips thrust up against her. Because of their height difference, she could feel his hardness against her stomach but desperately wanted to feel it in other places. The layers of fleece and denim were only adding to the frustration of wanting to touch each other everywhere. She slipped her hands into the neckline of the fleece jacket he wore and pulled is face closer to hers to further deepen their kiss. Peeta pulled away panting for breath to say, "I could kiss you all night" and went back to devouring her lips. His hands cupped each side of her ass and pulled her in as tight as clothing would allow. When they finally pulled away, she could swear she saw steam floating up from their bodies

She nuzzled her nose up against his, "Are you going to tell me what you guys talked about?

"Hmmm, it's a rather long story. Could take all night." He slid his warm, wet lips down the side of her neck to nudge her sweater aside

"Good thing I called my mom and told her I'd be spending the night with Rue, then." He stopped abruptly as he fought to keep his heart rate under control. Was she really getting this bold?

Peeta could make her want things that she only gave a cursory thought to in the past. She’d lied to her mother, for goodness sake, to be with him. He lifted his face from his assault on her neck to look at her with utter joy and disbelief

"Good thing Finn already offered me a room for the night, then." They started giggling simultaneously at their secret sly attempts to get each other into bed again. It had been four months since their last time together.

* * *

The disrobing started at the door. Although they were no longer newly acquainted with each other's bodies, the length in time between their lovemaking added a fervor and desperation that was growing harder to contain.  By the time the backs of her knees hit the bed, nothing but underwear stood between them. Much to Peeta's surprise, the space where his hands usually met the silky covering of panties on her bottom was occupied by soft flesh. Peeta leaned up and scanned her body from head to toe. She wore a black lace bra with a matching black thong.

"Wow..." he whispered

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to me, indeed." The rapid rise and fall of his chest signaled his pleasure.

"You like?"

She searched his face with a tiny bit of nervousness. It was an exercise in logistics to get the sexy items delivered without Prim or her mom finding them first. She'd never worn, nor wanted to wear, anything like this. But, Peeta made her want to do lots of things she never wanted to do before. Silly things. Girly things. Sexy things.

"I love."

He traced the line of her delicate bra with his index finger and sent shivers throughout her body. He thought she was sexy even in her usual sensible panties, but this was sure to be good fantasy-making material for his second semester. Although his favorite thing to see her in was…nothing…this was definitely a pleasant surprise.

"Since this is my Christmas present, can I take them back with me?"  He captured her lips and forced her to delay her reply.

"I don't think they'd fit you." She managed to mumble around his lips.

"Oh, I think they'll fit in my pocket just fine. I'll carry them everywhere." He raked his fingers along her bare stomach causing it to tighten and clench. He stroked his fingers back and forth but stopped just short of the waistband of her panties each time.  She could see the tent in his boxers accentuated at the tip by a wet, darkened circle of his fluid. But, he chose to lie there looking at her.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

As he leaned down to kiss her, she pulled his shoulders so that he hovered directly over her with her legs on either side of his hips. The first contact of skin to skin made the air escape from her lungs. Their mouths slid back and forth and in and out of each other. She could feel his hardness on the inside of her thigh and wanted nothing more than for him to slide her thong aside and bring her that feeling she'd longed for over long, lonely months. Instead, he stopped.

"Why'd you stop kissing me?"

"I'm not done kissing you."

His lips connected with the soft tissue in the crook of her neck, driving her head back into the pillow. "I want to kiss every inch of you." His tongue darted out to lick from her collarbone to behind her ear. "Never know when I'll get this chance again."

He nibbled her ear lobe as her fingers sought out his hair and tugged lightly, eliciting a deep moan from him that made her vibrate.

"I want to commit you to memory. Your skin. Your curves. Your smell. Your taste. Your sounds." He was poised over her with his knees between her legs. He gently placed her hands above her head and instructed her to, "Let me drive."

Just the sound of his voice, low and husky with desire, made moisture trickle from her body. He kissed her all along her forehead, cheeks and chin before settling on her lips again. He retraced his path back to her ear, where he sucked on her lobe again and she felt her nipples harden instantly underneath the pretty lace bra. Her heartbeat quickened as his mouth descended across her jawline. The anticipation of feeling his tongue on her nipples made her feel dizzy even though she was lying down. It was one of the memories that made her touch herself in his absence. But, Peeta had other plans.

He leaned back on his knees, dragging his large hands down the front of her frame. His crystal blue eyes took on a smoky quality as he said, "Turn over." He moved to the side as she shifted her body to lie on her stomach. The next sensation she felt was the feeling of his hands undoing her braid and sweeping the hair away from her back and shoulders. He then proceeded to trace warm kisses across her entire back, all the way down to her backside. His fingers traced every contour of her spine, back and hips as he murmured words praising her body for its beauty. He let his fingers glide underneath the edge of the panties, tracing the outline across her waist and down the center of her ass to her sex. She gasped and lifted her cheeks higher in the air, to his delight. He deftly slid one finger along her slit and collected her juices to taste from it.

Katniss discovered she was especially sensitive in the curve where her lower back met her butt, and Peeta found pleasure in scraping his teeth and tongue softly across that area. This made her arch her back and let out a wispy gasp that caused the tent in his boxers to jump and expand. The vision of her thong-covered backside rising in the air caused him to nearly abandon this little exploration and just enter her right there. But, he wanted to draw this out as long as possible…hours if necessary. He reached up to undo the clasp on her bra before planting sloppy kisses on either side of her posterior and turning her over.

Her body trembled with anticipation as he moved the straps of her bra slowly down her arms. She wanted nothing more than to feel his body pressed firmly up against hers. He took care to connect with her eyes and her lips ever so often to show there was more to loving her than just what lay below the waist. He desperately wanted her to know this. Which is why he planted a kiss as soft as a butterfly landing on her lips and pulled back to lock eyes with her as he cupped her cheek. His thumb trailed lightly over her plump bottom lip as she darted her tongue out just enough to taste its tip, never breaking eye contact. She felt more vulnerable and exposed in those few short seconds than she'd felt even while fully unclothed before him. It was as if their souls were talking directly to each other, bypassing words and the physical plane altogether. It was then that she knew that he could see it. He had to. How could he not? No words needed to be spoken. He had to know that she loved him.

Peeta's hands and chest were always warm. It was one of those unique things about him that she loved. She was growing impatient and the ache between her legs unbearable, but she didn't have the heart to rush this little voyage of his. She wanted the feel of his warmth covering her breasts and the sensation of him taking her nipples into his mouth.

And he did just that, using his strong hands to pull her up to arch into his mouth. He latched onto one of her taut peaks as he deliciously rolled his tongue across its delicately pebbled landscape while his warm fingers tended to its twin. Katniss whimpered and bucked her hips into his, trying to entice him with her wetness. But, he continued on his path giving her a soft but stern, "Not yet, baby."

He slowly kneaded every inch of exposed skin with his tongue, from the swell of her breasts down to her stomach, and finally back to where the fabric of her panties met skin. He lifted his body away from her, momentarily leaving a coolness in his absence. She didn't suffer for long as she felt him begin to trace a line with his nose and closed lips from her knees down to her center again. _My God, is he smelling my thighs_?

She was so desperate that she was ready to touch herself and just let him watch. But, his hands kept hers firmly planted at her sides. She could've sworn she felt, and heard, him inhale a deep breath at her center before blowing hotly against it. She felt his tongue dart out over the fabric and nearly exited her skin when he released a soft growl in response.

"Peeta…please…need you," was all she could manage between gasps and moans. She felt close to coming and he had hardly touched her there yet. She felt his head shake from side to side between her thighs as he maneuvered around the fabric of her thong.

"I want to taste you."

The humming of the blood rushing to her head helped to drown out everything except the feel of his mouth on her. He released her hands and held onto her thighs, using one thumb to keep her thong shifted to the side. They looked so beautiful on her that he ignored his desire to just rip them off. Her taste was an erotic combination of tangy and sweet, almost lemony.  He murmured unintelligible words against her wetness. He licked and nipped her little pearl until her moans and whimpers became cries, and eventually sighs. He felt her muscles contract and her hips buck and wondered if she came this hard when the thought of him drove her to touch herself. He made a mental note to ask afterwards.

He returned to hold her until the shivering subsided and her breathing steadied. She planted light, thankful kisses all over his face and mouth. She couldn't believe how far he'd brought her out of her shyness about her body and intimacy. She trusted him and never feared letting her guard down with him when they were alone. Not all of the walls had been toppled, but she was beginning to feel that she could abandon most of her insecurities in his presence.

When she'd regained her senses, she rolled on top of him and began delivering lazy kisses across his chest. She stopped long enough to tease his sensitive nipples with her teeth and tongue, drawing sharp gasps from his still puffy lips. His torso was perfectly contoured to fit between her thighs in spite of the fact that he was much bigger than she was. She slid slowly down the length from his chest to his navel, nuzzling and licking sensitive places. Her hands played along the planes of his body admiringly as she thought how lucky she was to be this close to what she was sure other girls dreamed about. His abdominal muscles ended in a perfect V-shape at his hips, leading to his 'happy trail'. It was this contour of his body, running underneath her fingers now, that had her mesmerized.

She'd gotten up the courage to take him into her mouth a couple of months before he left for college. The thought of him going away to school with worldly college women, not ever having had a blow job, was terrifying enough to make her scour the Internet for tips. He was shocked the first time; too shocked to realize that her technique needed some work. She'd gotten much better since then, using his reactions to her movements as her ultimate guide. Although she had nothing to compare it to, his moans and gasps told her that she must've been doing something right. He still preferred, though, to spend most of his time between her thighs.

' _There's just no substitute_ ,' he'd say. ' _When I come, I want to be inside you_.'

It had been months since she'd tasted his skin on her lips, and she was hungry for him. She slid his boxers past his knees and ankles, tossing them somewhere in the room. She leaned forward to taste the liquid that had pooled at his tip and let out a soft welcoming moan. She saw his hands reach down to grip the sheets, just as she'd done earlier. She slowly slid him into her mouth as far as he could go and lingered there before pulling him all the way out again. She circled her tongue around the shaft several times, causing his hands to fly up and plunge into her hair. With each descent, her grip on him grew firmer and her pace faster until his stomach clenched and his face contorted. She watched him as she circled her tongue around his head, waiting for him to look at her with bewildered eyes. Finally, his eyes shot wide as he pleaded with her.

"Baby, please…ah. That feels...ah...mazing but, I'm so close."

"Tell me. I won't stop until you tell me." She descended on him again.

"Please. I need to come...inside you." She knew if she continued this game, there'd be no winner. The ache between her legs could only be soothed by feeling him inside her. The power of making him choose was no match for the fullness he made her feel when his large, warm stiffness was inside her. He sensed more than felt the immediate shift she made. In one move, he pulled her forward by her shoulders and rolled her underneath him.

The beautiful thong was now a beautiful impediment. He slid his thumbs inside the waistband and simultaneously muttered, " _Shit_ " as he practically tore them off her body. Her legs went instinctively around his waist as they joined with each other. The sounds they released were neither screams, nor moans, nor cries but some combination of the three.

He thrusted and throbbed inside her, slowly at first, until the heat of their joining built to a bonfire. The need to be closer could only be met by going deeper. He placed her slender legs over the crooks of his elbows and proceeded to slow his pace to allow her to adjust to the new angle. She let out a sound that blunted every sense he had except that of being enveloped by her, pleasing her.

She gripped his wide shoulders and shuddered underneath him. She knew she loved this man and regretted in that moment tearing the letter up. She tried to convey her feelings to him silently by locking eyes with him at the crucial moment when she came for the second time that night, releasing her juices onto him. If she couldn't say it, dammit, she'd surely show him!

The act of looking into her eyes as her wetness clenched around him caused him to pulse and expand so that it nearly hurt. A couple of thrusts more and he joined her, releasing all of his pent up love and and desires between her shaking thighs. He felt as though he would never stop coming. When he finally collapsed on top of her and placed his forehead to hers, she struggled to push aside the dread of knowing that rejoicing in the feel of him would soon be dwarfed by the coldness of his absence. She was sure the tears bubbling behind her eyelids were a result of the raw emotion of their sex and having missed him so much. He was sure that this had to be the closest thing to sheer happiness and perfection that he'd ever experienced. He kissed her tenderly before rolling off of her.

* * *

He lay there lazily tracing circles around her navel as her head rested on his arm.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

He couldn't tell her what he was really thinking. Not yet, no. ' _How I'd like to plant a baby there someda_ y.'

"What would your dad think of me?"

"He liked you."

"Yeah, the 11-year old me who played on his soccer team. But, what would he think of us? Of me being your boyfriend? Would he like me?"

"It's safe to say, that if he wouldn't have, you wouldn't be lying here next to me right now. What I mean is, we were so much alike, he and I. Not just physically, but we were almost of one mind. I know he would have liked you because I do."

 _Like_. The word stung him like a scorpion. He was starting to hate that fucking word. It was right up there with _care-deeply-for_ and _very-fond-of._ What was it about love that scared the shit out of everyone? Of her?

"In fact, you two remind me so much of each other." She'd never really put things together before, but it all made sense. Peeta had the exact same type of energy and spirit as her father had. Always happy, selfless, expressive, freely loving everyone around him.

"He would've loved you, Peeta." He knew that was the closest he was going to get for now and he was fine with that.

"I have something for you." He got up to search through the pockets of his jacket, and pulled out a red velvet covered box. Her heart sank. Once again Peeta got her something nice and all she got him was some stupid lingerie.

"Merry Christmas. Well, don't just stare at it. Open it." His smile threatened to split his face in two.

Inside was a single pearl dangling from a chain of white gold. She held it up and thought it was the most perfect thing she'd ever seen although it wasn't perfectly round like the ones she'd seen in jewelry stores. Its shape was more natural and that made it even more special. And it came from Peeta.

Peeta had found the pearl himself at Arena Beach when he was seventeen. His family went snorkeling while on vacation there. When they docked, he saw that a clam had washed up on the beach. He idly picked it up and it fell it open, revealing inside the pearl that made him think of Katniss. She was much like the pearl herself: a precious thing you find in the most unusual place when you're least expecting it. He'd planned on making it into something at the time but didn't know exactly what. So, he'd wrapped it in cloth and stored it in a plastic bag in his nightstand for the past two years until Delly helped him find a jeweler who'd turned it into a pendant.  He draped it around her neck and fastened the clasp. Tears pooled in her eyes as she looked at it, draped perfectly where her cleavage began.

"It's so beautiful, Peeta. And so perfect." _Just like you_ , she thought but didn't say. She placed her hand behind his neck and pulled him in for a soft kiss. "Thank you. I absolutely love it! I don't think I'll ever take it off."

"Keep it next to your heart and think of me when I'm gone." She didn't tell him that she didn't need a pearl to think of him because that's all she seemed to be able to do lately.

* * *

He got her home at the crack of dawn on the next morning before anyone woke up. They celebrated the early part of the holiday seperately, of course. Katniss, Prim and Iris had dinner with Uncle Haymitch as was their tradition. When the time came to settle down for the night at the old man's place, Katniss pardoned herself apologetically saying that she was going to a movie with Peeta and would spend the night at home since it would be over so late.

With her mom and Prim out of the room, Haymitch eyed her suspiciously.

"You've been spending a lot of time with this boy. You love him?" Uncle Haymitch had always had an uncanny ability to read others and see through their bullshit. Especially hers. Katniss felt her face grow warm.

"Well, I don't know. Peeta and I have been friends so long, I can't really tell the difference," she blushed.

"Your mom told me about the drama with his mother, sweetheart. You be careful, you hear?"

Her first instinct was to be defensive and remind him that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, thank him very much. But, she was relieved that someone else could see through all of the glorious possibilities of love and look at the reality of her situation. His. Mother. Hated Her. He stared at her as he swirled the dark liquid around in his glass.

"I will, Uncle."

"Just stay true to yourself and things will work out fine. Oh, and use protection."

Her mouth dropped open as she stuttered a denial.

"Look, sweetheart, I was young and horny once. Don't try to pull one over on me. I'm not your mother." He leaned back in his recliner and smirked at her as she sought out a corner in the room to focus on. "You're supposed to be horny at your age, by the way. I never understood all this _purity ring_ bullshit your parents insisted on. They meant well, but...that's way too much pressure for young loins. Just make sure he wraps it up, okay?"

Before she knew it she'd crossed the room and thrown her arms around the old man.

* * *

The winter break flew by as if they lived by some accelerated calendar. Today was Peeta's last day in town before heading back to school. The night before, when he'd dropped her off at home, she'd simply stripped down to her underwear and crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep. They'd had a small argument about the logistics of spending time together while avoiding his mother. She cursed her inability to get involved fully in his life. He reiterated his love for her and promised to fix things.

His plane was due to leave later that evening and he'd promised to stop by before going to the airport. The doorbell rang two hours earlier than she'd expected, essentially foiling her plans to apply ice packs to her eyes that were still red and puffy from crying. When he asked what was wrong, she made up some lame excuse about chopping onions and put on her best, bravest face.

"I didn't expect you until noon." It was ten o'clock.

"I thought we could go walk around the botanical gardens once more before they take the Christmas decorations down."

She loved the gardens. It was the closest thing to nature she got to see since her father died and the camping trips ceased.  
They walked the gardens holding hands and talking. He kissed her under a mistletoe and repeated his love for her, but told her he wouldn't say those words anymore since they seemed to make her uncomfortable.

She thought of the constant conflict and jumping through hoops as an unnecessary hurdle to what should be so natural. All of her confidence in what they shared had been drained. So, she continued with her ruse.

"It's just that we're so young, Peeta. We have...so much ahead of us. We don't know where we'll end up after college. Can't we just enjoy now?" Her stomach was in knots as she said it because she knew the end would very likely come after graduation and she had to prepare herself no matter how badly it hurt.

He drove her back home and kissed her good-bye on her porch. Before he reached his car to leave, he turned back around and came to where she stood.

"You know what? I changed my mind. I can't not say it. I'm sorry if it makes you feel weird, but not saying it makes _me_ feel weird. I love you, Katniss. If that feels awkward to you, then I'm sorry. But I do. And I don't see what's so wrong with that. You don't have to say it back, because that's not why I say it. I say it because it just... _is_." He looked at her expecting some response but only saw tears and confusion welling in her eyes. "But, if you do...feel _something_...you should say it."

He kissed her gently on the lips and turned to leave. He didn't get very far because she grabbed his jacket and pulled him back to face her. She looked into his eyes and spoke to him in the only way she was comfortable with.

She kissed him again and spoke through the lump in her throat, "See you at Spring break."  
"I'll miss you."  
"Like crazy."


	3. Please Come Home for Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is an epilogue to Scent of A Woman and takes place during Christmastime after Katniss' graduation from Law School. She and Peeta are settled in Berkeley, CA.

  
Evelyn Mellark passed away in August of the year that Peeta and Katniss reconciled, just before they moved to Berkeley. In spite of all of their differences, it saddened Katniss to see Peeta lose his mother. It was mostly because of all the unresolved issues that lay between them. The woman had done her best, within her limitations of time and will, to try and right her wrongs with the family of men she left behind. Although she and Peeta's chosen had never become friends, the older woman had begun to accept his relationship before her passing and would often ask him how Katniss was doing.

  
It was a stressful time for the two lovers with moving, losing his mother, starting a new job and law school, but they were able to navigate it and grow even closer together. Peeta learned to handle his jealousy of the late night study sessions with male classmates that usually started in the library but sometimes ended up in their apartments after the libraries closed. Katniss learned that love required cultivation, like a plant. It needed fertile ground, sunlight and proper watering. She had to learn to make time for Peeta amidst her classes and studies. Whatever was thrown at the lovers, they managed. They faced troubles that stressed every relationship and used it as glue to bind them even closer together.

  
Katniss graduated from law school in May, three years later, with honors. Her graduation was attended by her mom, Prim, Uncle Haymitch and even Peeta's father and his brother, Deacon. Vigo, true to form, sent his well wishes from a distance. Iris and Peeta organized a graduation party back in Arizona a couple of weeks after graduation, against her protests and in spite of her not wanting them to go through the trouble and expense. But, it turned out to be an opportunity to celebrate with old friends before returning to Berkeley to begin her new job and studying for the bar exam. She and Peeta couldn't think of a single reason to move away from the community that had become the place they claimed as their own. They enjoyed the carefree vibe that the diverse community offered. The fact that they were able to live freely as adults and rely on their parents' advice from a distance also had its appeal. They were free to establish their own history and create memories in a place not connected with ghosts from the past.

  
She had taken a job with a local environmental law firm as a paralegal while studying for the exam, the passing of which her promotion to junior attorney depended on. She had no intentions of taking the exam more than once, so that meant studying through the holidays. For this reason, she and Peeta decided they'd spend this Christmas season at home…they liked the sound of that…and not go back to Arizona, for the first time since leaving. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen had flown out for the Thanksgiving holidays to save Katniss the time and expense of travelling and to get out of Arizona for just a bit. Iris had helped Peeta prepare a simple but delicious Thanksgiving meal and they spent the rest of the long weekend touring the local area. Katniss enjoyed the opportunity to visit with Prim, who was entering her last year of pre-med at Arizona State and was actively applying to medical schools all over the country.

  
Her heart burst with the thoughts of how far her family had come from struggling under the weight of her father's death. That time in her life was foggy with memories of hungry nights, unpaid bills, and tattered clothing that could only be mended, not replaced. Prim was pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor. Though she had avoided having a man in her life, Iris was doing much better emotionally and was even considering going back to nursing school. And there was Peeta. Having him in her life to love freely was like drawing fresh breath in her lungs after breathing so much stale air. His warmth and sunniness was now hers to hold daily, freely, openly. Life still presented challenges, but she was learning to focus on that which she was thankful for.

  
Peeta agreed to fly home the week before Christmas to help his father and brothers put a few things right before the start of the New Year. His promise to Katniss before leaving included a cracked and pathetic rendition of, "I'll be home for Christmas. You can plan on me…"

  
"You. Are. So. Goofy. And I love you." She couldn't get enough of saying it these days. At times she wondered if it annoyed him that she was making up for all the years she couldn't…didn't say it. He never let on if it did.

  
He made several visits home each year and spent his time helping his dad with some aspect of running the bakery business. But, their times together had also found the Mellark men forging a new relationship with each other. They found that the chemistry they'd become accustomed to underwent a remix, with one element missing. Their dynamic had changed and Peeta marveled at how the addition or removal of one person, one soul, one source of energy could change an interaction. For both good and for bad. He hadn't decided which one his mother's death had done, a fact which made him feel ashamed.

  
Each visit found Errol Mellark more relaxed, but disorganized. He was still adjusting to running a home and a business without his wife's rigid hand and eye for detail. He'd underestimated how much of his daily life was shaped by the traits in his wife he thought he despised. He did miss her in spite of the new found ease with which he breathed. Deacon was less confrontational and more engaged in the running of things. But, his stubbornness and lack of knowledge about running a business had made fertile ground for some costly mistakes.

  
Vigo, who had been the closest to their mother, was beginning to rely on his father's presence more. He had also become critical of things he once only observed from the fringe. It was this new normal that they all had to deal with. And Peeta. Although he was emotionally the strongest of the lot, his mother's overbearing nature and persistent control over important decisions in his life had turned him into someone who questioned every decision he made. He was learning to navigate life without having every move thought out for him in advance. Katniss was teaching him to stand up and fight for what he wanted and not look for the approval of others, even hers, so much.

  
Peeta spent the better part of his time in town running through inventory lists, replacing old equipment and helping Deacon restock the storeroom. He'd asked Johanna to meet him at the coffee shop downtown, but to not tell anyone for fear it would get back to Katniss somehow.

  
"So, what's up, Lover Boy?" He was seated a table in the back of the place, so he heard her before he saw her. She came in projecting her voice over the whirring of the all the coffee makers and machinery.

  
"You finally came to your senses, dumped brainless and you're here to confess your undying love and ask me to run away with you, right? Took you long enough!" He rose and gave her a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, Jo. It's been a while. You look great."

  
"Damn right, I do. Now, ease up or I'll have you making hotel reservations before your mocha's cold!" Peeta always blushed fiercely when Johanna flirted with him. She was like this with all of her friends because she loved the attention and also loved embarrassing people and making them uncomfortable. She hadn't changed much and still sported the same short hairstyle. He took in her skin-tight white jeans, layered with an oversized gray sweater and black lace-up boots as she surveyed him curiously. They politely gossiped about their friends while sipping pretentious coffees.

  
"How is Ms. Goody Two-Shoes, anyway? She finally giving it up regularly?" He looked around at the other patrons to make sure they couldn't overhear her crass way of showing that she cared. "Well, she's doing great...um, we're doing great. She stayed behind to study for the bar exam. I'm just here helping my dad out with a few things."

  
"Give it up, Mellark. I know you didn't ask me here because you missed my beautiful mug. Besides, I have a horny airman just back from deployment meeting me at my place in an hour." He took a deep breath as a smile spread across his face, thinking 'Jo will never change'.

  
"Well, remember that purity ring you bought from Katniss a few years ago?" 

"Yeah?"

 "I'd like to buy it back. I'll give you whatever you ask." 

"Wait, you did say you guys are having sex, right?"

 "Oh, God, yes." The breathy words left his mouth before he was able to snap himself back to the present. Just thinking about Katniss made him stiffen. He cleared his throat and continued. "I mean…yeah. But, I've always wanted to buy it back for her. It has…um…family significance."

  
Her wheels began to turn. Realization finally dawned on her face. "Ooohhh. I get it. You popped her cherry, didn't you? I knew it wasn’t Gale!"

 "Geez, Jo!" he whispered, checking over his shoulder. "Please keep it down." 

She rolled her eyes skyward. "If you guys aren't the corniest damn people I've ever met in my whole fucking life! Lucky for you, I think that shit's cute." She looked at him with a sheepish grin on her face. "Okay, okay. I'll give you the damn ring back." 

"Great! How much?" 

"Just take it. Good thing I'm wearing it now."

  
She removed it from her finger, where she'd worn it practically daily for years. She'd just as soon die than reveal to her friend that she had longed to have a father who cared enough to convince her to keep her legs closed until she found the right guy. Being known as the school slut was better than being invisible, she supposed. Instead, her fate had been to be used and exploited by a brute of a man who was still married to her mother. She took every opportunity to celebrate the good in life even if she insisted that it was all corny make-believe. So, in spite of Peeta's pleas to compensate her, she refused the money until he finally gave up.

  
"Wait a minute. Why are you so hard after this ring after all these years? You have the girl. What gives?" Jo leaned forward and eyed him with that look she had always used against her friends. The same one that made them spill their guts about their most intimate secret. Unlike a gossip, she never wanted secrets for sharing. She collected them and arranged them for her own enjoyment. 

"I told you, it was just a promise I made her years ago. I said I'd get it back for her." 

"Uh-huh. Are you proposing? Come on, tell me. I won't tell anyone." Damn, this girl should work in law enforcement! As good of a liar as he could be, she caught the slight flicker in his eyes before he could answer.

  
"Busted! I knew it! But, hold on one damn minute." 

She leaned in and whispered with the air of a protective parent issuing a first-date-night warning. "With all the dough you rake in at that fancy design firm, you're going to propose to the girl of your dreams with an eleven-year old, $500 purity ring. Even my unromantic ass would expect better than that, Mellark. What the hell's wrong with you?"

  
He wouldn't feel right if she knew before his father or Katniss' mother. And he didn't plan on telling them until the end of his visit. But, his desire to spend the rest of his life with Katniss had been an ache in his belly for years now. Even though his mouth tried to continue the ruse, his face could not betray the joy that lay within him. Johanna was unsuccessful at masking her glee as she smothered a well-intentioned squeal behind her fist. She prided herself on shunning anything romantic or sentimental. But, these guys had grown on her. She knew what Peeta's mother had put them through and she was very happy to see them finally together. Peeta could no longer fight off the corners of his mouth as they curled up into a huge smile.

  
"So, you think she'll say yes?" 

"Are you kidding? She's been hot for you since I've known her. She put up with your mother's shit, God rest her soul. And you apparently were the first to cross her pearly gates." Johanna looked away pensively, "I guess that explains the blowjob tips she was asking me for a few years ago." She watched Peeta closely as deep red blush rose from his collar to his cheeks and decided she'd had enough fun at his expense.

  
"Yeah, Buff-Stuff, I think she'll say yes. Although, I'm starting to wonder which one of you is the brainless one in this relationship. I'm happy for you." Peeta nodded and smiled while looking down at the ring poised on his pinkie.

* * *

 

It had been a long day for the both of them. Katniss had put in a full day with her study partner, Darius. Peeta had been with his father and brothers all day at the bakery. They had a casual dinner, the four of them, and retired to their separate rooms. When he was finally able to find time alone, all he wanted to do was talk to Katniss and fall into bed. He sat down with his iPad at his old desk and sent her a FaceTime request. When she finally picked up, he could see that she was at his apartment tonight, already dressed for bed and wearing his favorite little red cotton nightie.

  
"Hey, babe." 

"Hey. I hope you don't mind. I wanted to sleep here tonight. I needed to feel close to you." 

"You don't even have to ask."

  
Although they maintained separate apartments to accommodate her weird study hours, they'd practically lived together for the last three years. Peeta sat before her wearing a pair of drawstring pants and the tattered old Georgia Tech t-shirt he gave her when he first left to go to college. Years of wear and washing made the t-shirt cling to his chest, for which she was mighty grateful. She couldn't believe how sexy he could be in the simplest of get-ups. She thought this even as he let out a long, loud burp.

  
"Gosh, Peeta! You're such a pig. What did you eat?"

 "We all went out for pizza and beer…me, dad, Vigo and Deacon."

 "Well. Fine dining, I see."

  
"We had such a good time, though Katniss. Each time I see Vigo, he seems more relaxed. He's becoming a different person. And Deacon is finally stepping up to help Dad more. Since it'll just be the three of them for the holiday, Dad's not doing a lot of cooking. So, we've eaten out practically every night since I got here. I'm getting a pot belly. See?" He leaned back to raise his t-shirt and reveal what he called a pot belly. All she saw was the sexy V that outlined the area between his hips and his groin and pictured herself running her tongue along it. Does he even know what he's doing to me?

  
"Now we're all full, sleepy and walking around scratching our balls." She laughed. She was gorgeous when she laughed and he made her do it as often as possible. Only then could he see the little dimples that formed around her mouth.

  
He told her how comforting it was being back in his childhood home with him and his brothers in their old rooms just like old times. What had surprised him the most was how much he missed his mother. In spite of the fact that they had a tumultuous relationship, she was still his mother and he had loved her. But, he wasn't prepared for the hole she seemed to leave in their home. There was definitely a different vibe there. His mother had been gone for three years and Errol Mellark was still struggling to keep up with all that she'd managed. Deacon was slowly stepping up to the plate to help out more. In the past he'd avoided most matters relating to the bakery to avoid dealing with his mother any more than he had to.

  
"Well, you're still sexy…even when you're a pig." He smiled dreamily at her as he leaned his cheek on the backside of his fist, wondering if she would still love him when he was old, fat and bald.

  
"How's the studying going?"

 "Rough! Darius and I put in eight full hours today." 

"You're home earlier than usual. You sure that was enough?"

 "Yes, I'm sure. I was too tired for another all-nighter. Besides, I wanted to come home and talk to you. Come home. Now."

  
She leaned closer to her iPad to give him her best pouty face. 

"Only 2 more days and I'll be back. Then you won't be able to get rid of me." It was December 21st and the plan was for him to be back by the 23rd so they could spend all of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together before Katniss resumed her studying. 

"I'll never want to get rid of you. I love you." 

"I love you, too. I just wish I was there lying next to you. Kissing you. My old bed is comfortable, but it's cold without you in it."

  
She smiled wide and leaned in towards the screen to plant a kiss to it and accidentally gave him a nice shot of her cleavage. 

"I can see down your top," he said playfully. 

She snickered in mock exasperation, "What are you, in middle school?" 

"I'm so horny it's ridiculous." 

"Peeta, you are a walking bag of hormones. But, I love it."

  
"I can't help it if I have the hottest girlfriend on the planet. Stop being so hot and I'll stop being so horny. If it makes you feel better, I'm going commando right now and I'm seriously thinking about jacking off when I hang up." His blatant honesty about his feelings and desires always caught her off guard. Some of the dumbest things sounded cute and sexy when they rolled off his lips, because he really meant them and said them with such innocence. The same words coming from Finnick or Gale would've just sounded creepy.

  
"Maybe you don't have to wait until you hang up." She couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. She'd always scoffed at those girls who sent sexy pictures to their boyfriends. She always thought they were stupid and just asking to become the next amateur internet star. But, Peeta made her comfortable with things she never thought possible. He had never pressured nor even asked her to do anything like this, but she felt herself drawn to him right now. She told herself when they got back together that she would no longer push aside opportunities to show her true feelings to him. She wanted to show him just how much she missed him.

  
"Careful now, Ms. Everdeen," he said with a fake southern drawl. She looked at him and nodded slowly and seductively while wiggling her eyebrows.

  
"Seriously?" His eyes widened. When he saw her reassuring nod, he stuttered, "H-Hold on. L-Lemme lock the door." He nearly tripped over his duffel bag on the way back to the computer as she stifled a laugh. His clumsy excitement was both adorable and stimulating.

  
"I can't believe we're actually going to do this. I don't even know where to start." 

She didn't know where to start either. She channeled Johanna for inspiration, asking herself 'What would Jo do?' She could just hear her friend's snarky response, 'Just pretend he's right in front of you, brainless! He's hot! Just go with it!'

  
She mounted the iPad to the charging station on her nightstand and angled it towards the bed to give her more freedom.  
"Start here." She took her finger and seductively traced the outline of her nightie around her breasts.

  
"I love it when you kiss me here." She slowly began to push the fabric back, revealing one taut nipple. Peeta saw the outline of her other nipple through the thin, red fabric. She licked her finger seductively and swirled it around the delicate peak and watched as his breath quickened.

  
"Touch yourself, baby," she directed as she moved the other strap of her nightie down to join its twin. Pretty soon, they were both all the way past her elbows so that she was completely topless. The words seemed to start to flow naturally. She could see Peeta stand to push his pants down and the sight of his already forming erection made her squeeze her thighs together. She began to stroke and knead her breasts, pushing them together and fingering the nipples as she locked eyes with him. He began slowly stroking himself with one hand and gripping the desk with the other. He stared into the camera as his breath quickened.

  
"I wish your mouth was here, sucking me" she said as she continued to circle her nipples and feel the moisture forming in her underwear.

  
He watched her in awe as he continued to run his hand up and down his length. "Damn, that's hot. Keep talking."

  
"When you bite my nipples, it makes me so hot. So wet. And when you suck them, I just want to ride you until I collapse. I wish your mouth was somewhere else, too." She stroked one hand down the length of her flat abs, pushing down the nightgown that had bunched at her waist to reveal her navel. She made little circles around it, just as he liked to do with his tongue when he kissed her there. She stood to slowly move the fabric past her hips and to give him a shot of what was underneath.

  
"Dear, God. Not the red lace thong."

 "Yes, the red lace thong. For you, baby."

 "Woman, you're going to k-kill me." 

"Mmmm…I wish I had your mouth on me."

“Say it the way you know I like it, Katniss.

“I can’t wait to feel your lips on my pussy. To feel your tongue inside me.”

  
“God, I want to taste you so bad! I wish you were here, baby, so I could put my cock in your mouth. Make me come.”

  
She watched as he leaned further back into his desk chair and could tell by his breathing that he was quickening his pace and getting close much sooner than she wanted him to. She was shocked at how much she was actually enjoying this! What had started out as her way of giving him pleasure had turned her on so much that she now ached down below. He was having a hard time maintaining eye contact as she worked him into a frenzy. But, she had something else to show him before it was all over. She propped herself up on the side of the bed and spread her legs wide for him to see. Her fingers played seductively across the fabric which was now soaked with her wetness. She pretended that he was right there, hovering over her, watching her. She moaned and licked her lips as she drew him in with her eyes.

  
"I love it when you lick my pussy. Do you remember what I taste like, Peeta?”

  
“Yes! I want to bury my face between your legs and make you come; then fuck you until you scream.”

  
“And when I get close, I want you to stop. Make me beg, then come inside me again. I want to feel you inside me, making me come so hard I forget what day it is. I can't wait to taste you again, to wrap my mouth around you." It was scary how good she had gotten at this. She inserted a finger inside herself as he watched her, mesmerized.

  
"F-Fuck. I miss you so much. I want to fuck you so bad right now, Katniss." She could hear the sound of his flesh as he pumped away, breathing heavier by the second. She had always found it funny that, unless he was extremely angry, Peeta rarely cursed until they were having sex. And it always turned her on. He liked to watch her touch herself and she wanted to give him a good show. She stretched the panties to the side so that he could see all of her and began to frantically finger herself to a climax. The moans and cries she released were exaggerated for his benefit, but no less intense.

  
"Oh…Peeta…I'm coming." His face turned red and he gripped the chair arm with one hand as liquid spurted over the other and onto his stomach. She fought the urge to collapse onto the bed as she watched him release. It was an exercise to maintain her position and keep eye contact while coming, but she did it. He was worth it. They sat there, facing each other breathless and sweaty. Their eyes met across the airways as devious smiles spread across each of their faces; another first for the star-crossed lovers.

  
He leaned off camera for a couple of seconds to grab something to clean up with. She excused herself to wash her hands but left her clothing on the floor at his request. When she returned, he had the same dreamy look in his eyes as before. They simultaneously burst into giggles when it dawned on them what they'd just done.

  
"That was so dirty…and so much fun," Katniss said as she realized just how easy Peeta made it for her to let her barriers down. She could never have considered doing this with anyone else. The last 15 minutes were a testament to just how much she trusted him. It wasn't so much about the sexual exploration as what it represented: her desire to please him in every way, her faith in him, his making her well-being a priority, and the way he made her heart sing a new song every time she was in his presence.

  
"Katniss Everdeen! Who'd have thought…Gah, that was amazing. I love you." 

"Hmmm. Kinda hard not to love a girl who has video sex with you." Her hysterical laughter was met by the warmest smile she'd ever seen on Peeta's face. She could hear the seriousness and sincerity in his voice.

  
"You really are the best thing in my life, Katniss. You mean everything to me. You know that, right?" She could feel the love they had for each other even through the flat pieces of plastic and silicone that connected them.

  
"I do. I love you. And I don't know what I'd do without you, Peeta Mellark." They ended their call by pressing their lips to their screens and saying good night.

* * *

 

Peeta was not going to make it home on December 23rd as planned. Flights were being overbooked and cancelled left and right. He argued with the airline to the point of exhaustion. Two days. They'd set aside these two measly days to spend with each other exclusively and the airline was stealing them. He reluctantly went back home with his father to wait it out and curse at the airline ticket agents on the phone. The next flight they could book him on wouldn't leave until the next day, Christmas Eve. Katniss was so disappointed that she threw herself on the sofa and collapsed in a fit of tears. She didn't know what had come over her lately. She was not the emotional type, but anything involving Peeta managed to send her into a state of blubbering.

  
'Oh, well,' she thought once the tears subsided. 'One more day of studying. It'll keep my mind off Peeta.'  
She called Darius and told him of her change in plans. He was, however, back in his home state visiting family. So, the next morning she headed to the neighborhood library and studied alone until it closed, albeit early since it was Christmas Eve. She talked with Peeta early in the day and just long enough to know that he was back at the airport and still trying to coordinate his flight out that day.

  
"Why don't you just stay with your dad for Christmas, Peeta. I'm okay. Besides, I'm not so keen on you flying at such a busy time."

 "What? Don't you miss me?" "Like crazy." 

"That settles it, then. I'm getting home today, babe."

  
He liked the sound of that word, home, especially when it included Katniss. She wanted nothing more than to see him, but was completely exhausted. Sleep came so sudden and hard that she didn't hear the phone ring multiple times as Peeta tried to call her as she lay on the sofa.

  
He tried not to worry. He had talked to her a few hours ago to find her safe and sound inside his apartment. What if she left to go somewhere and something terrible happened? Katniss was a big girl who was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but he couldn't help worrying.

  
In her deep sleep and exhausted state that night, she reverted to the terrible nightmares she used to have for years after her father died. They plagued her throughout middle school and high school, and had only stopped once she started college.  
The one she was having now was a reflection of the feelings she'd been babysitting lately. The more she allowed her walls to crumble, the more concerned she became about possibly losing Peeta. In this nightmare, he was a soldier, just like her dad.

He was leading a platoon of men through dangerous territory near enemy lines on a beachfront. There were missiles and rounds going off all around, clouding his vision and path with sand. Peeta was hit in the leg as he tried to pull one of his men to safety. He lay there on the beach in a pool of red and was slowly bleeding out. After he gave up on living, he simply lay there, waiting to die and calling her name over and over again.

  
"Katniss!"

 "Katniss!"

 "Katniss! Baby, wake up. I'm right here."

  
She bolted up in a flurry of limbs and sweat and tears straight into a pair of strong, warm arms. 

"Peeta?!"  
She threw her arms around his neck and unraveled in a wave of tears for the second time in two days. She sobbed like a cranky toddler as he worked to pry her arms from around his neck to take a look at her. She was small, but strong! He pulled her onto his lap, stroked her back and whispered soothing words into her ear.

  
She told him about her dream between sobs and asked, "Would it be too much to ask you to never, ever leave me again?" He kissed her a reply.

"I missed you."

 "Like crazy," she said. He cradled her face in his hands and touched his lips to hers again.

"I'm here, now."

  
Her warmth seeped into his bones like spirits on a cold day as he pulled her top lip between his and stroked it with his tongue. The gasp that she whispered against his lips was his welcome home. He stood, bringing her with him and walked to their bedroom with her legs wrapped around his hips. They made love. Slow and sweet. Tender and adoring. Gone was the usual intensity with which they devoured each other. Their lovemaking was soundless but for the rustling of sheets and the smacking of lips as they tasted each other, traded tender kisses and soft touches. Her tears never fully ceased even though he was now with her in the closest possible way. He wiped away each one as it fell. She was overwhelmed with love and emotion for what they shared now...such a far cry from all the previous years. Not long after, they shuddered into their climax and drifted off to sleep with their legs and arms intertwined.

* * *

Peeta was the first to wake on Christmas morning, whispering into her ear. "Merry Christmas, love." He rolled over and stretched his hands above his head. The sight of the sheets pulling down at his hips made the morning clouds in her brain roll away. She wanted to reach under those sheets and take him into her hands again. But, she had something else to do. They showered and dressed and headed to the living room to exchange presents before calling their families. She insisted on going first and handed him his iPad. "You're giving me my own iPad for Christmas, baby?" He looked at her playfully with raised eyebrows.

  
"No, silly," she drew out. "Go the presentation app." 

He went to the home screen and selected the application.  
"Now open the file named ilovepeetamellark and play the slideshow."

On the device was a slideshow of pictures of him, him and Katniss, him and his family, him and his friends…all him. Some were new, but others were so old he knew she had to scan them. His mouth hung open as a surprised laugh burst out at seeing some pictures he had not seen in years. It was set to their favorite song and each had a caption.

  
You never gave up on me: a picture of the two of them taken at the neighborhood park a couple of months after her father passed away. He had one arm around her shoulder.

 You have soft lips: a picture that Deacon snapped 2 Christmases ago of them kissing under the mistletoe at Finn's house. 

You can cook: a picture of Peeta at the bakery decked out in an apron covered with flour and a huge smile on his face. 

You pick up stray dogs no matter how dirty and nasty they are: a picture of Peeta bringing an injured stray into the animal shelter where she volunteered in college. 

You're smart: a collage of Peeta's high school and college graduation pictures. 

You loved me even when I didn't deserve it: a picture of the two of them on her sofa, Peeta wearing a big smile and Katniss wearing a scowl. 

You're selfless: a picture of Peeta helping Prim with her homework. 

You're hot: her favorite picture of Peeta at the beach on vacation, wearing a pair of low-slung trunks with water dripping down his chest; courtesy of Deacon. 

You always see the best in others: a picture of Peeta and her with big smiles, staring at each other. 

You're goofy: a picture of Peeta and Finnick dressed as hookers for Halloween one year. He made quite an ugly chick.

  
"What..? How did you get these?" 

"Santa's little elves helped."

She didn't know why she was so nervous after being together all these years. She'd rehearsed the words a hundred times and could recite them in her sleep. She bit her lip, took a deep breath and plunged in.

  
"Peeta, I told you when we decided to be together, that I wouldn't let you go one day without you knowing just how much I love you and how important you are to me."

He tried to speak but she shushed him. "Finally coming to my senses and admitting to you that I loved you was the most liberating day of my life. Now, I can hardly find enough ways to let you know how I feel about you. But, I promise you, I'll never stop trying." 

"This is really sweet, Katniss."

  
"Well, I was in class one day, not paying attention, and started to jot down in the margins of my notebook **Why I Love Peeta**. It started as a list in my head that I just had to get written down, and it blossomed from there. Nothing can make up for all the time I let slip through my fingers, but I'm hoping this is a start. I'm sure I'll find new reasons to add to it, as time goes on. That is, assuming I'll be around. If you'll have me, I'd like to be around for quite a long time."

Her voice was beginning to shake so she just ended it there.

  
He pulled her in for a close hug with the iPad still clutched in one hand. He tossed it on the sofa and nestled her face in both his hands. They stood there communicating with their eyes as he traced the outline of her lips with his thumb. She finally broke the silence.

  
"I love you with all my heart, Peeta." She planted a soft kiss on his lips. "But, I'm not done yet. I have something else for you."

  
"Wait! Let me go next. This is so great, I can't let you outdo me."

  
He gathered a small square box from under the tree and handed it to her. When she opened it, she found a pack of iced cookies in a red cellophane bag with Mellark's Bakery printed on the ribbon. Tied in with the ribbon was her old purity ring. She gasped.

  
"Peeta! Oh my gosh…this is my ring! How did you? Wait…" She stopped mid-sentence and gave him a mocking look "What did you have to do with or to Johanna to get this?"

  
"Oh, baby. You don't wanna know." They both laughed as he ran his hand along her arms.

  
"But, seriously. We met for coffee and she was happy to let me have it back. I insisted on paying her, but she refused. She said to tell you 'Merry Fucking Christmas'." She stared at it in wonder, shaking her head. "I told you I'd get it back for you."

  
"You're too much, Peeta. You amaze me, you know that?" She was surprised at how she could still make him blush after all these years.

"Okay," she took a deep breath. "I do have something else for you to make up for all the shitty presents of the past years." "Your gifts were not shitty, Katniss." 

"Anyway…" she sauntered over to the tree to grab a rectangular package as he checked out her ass. "…this is for you."

  
Since arriving in Berkeley, Peeta had been free to express his artistic side more. One new form of expression he'd indulged in was photography. He'd purchased a nice camera, but was saving money to build up his collection of lenses. In the box was a very nice telephoto lens that he'd been wanting. He loved it of course, and broke it in by snapping a few shots of his favorite subject.

  
"Well, it's time for the video chat with your mom and Prim." Peeta kept looking at his watch wondering when Sae, his neighbor was going to get there with the other present. She was an older woman who moved into their apartment building alone after her husband died. They had struck up a friendship almost from day one over their love of cooking. She would often babysit her granddaughter, who adored Peeta and Katniss. Sae liked the young couple so much that she even allowed little Maya to come over and hang out with them. The way Peeta showed such patience with Maya, something her own parents had yet to master, warmed Sae's heart; he was even teaching her how to make cookies. Sae had agreed to store Katniss' gift at her place to keep it a surprise. Peeta bounced around like a kid on sugar waiting for his neighbor to arrive with the gift. He was glad he decided to leave it at her place. Katniss had a key to his apartment and he couldn't risk her finding it ahead of time. She was going to be so surprised.

  
Katniss plopped down on the sofa with iPad in hand and dialed her mother and Prim form the Skype app. Peeta watched the door nervously, trying desperately to mask his excitement. If only Sae could get here now, he thought.

  
Their faces came into view just as the doorbell rang. Finally, he thought. 

"I'll get the door. Keep talking."

 Katniss, her mother and Prim often video chatted with each other in her absence. She loved having a visual connection to her little sister. It made the ache in her heart a little bit more bearable across the miles. They traded Merry Christmases, discussed plans for the day and shared each other's gifts received.

  
Peeta walked back into view and greeted them.

 "Who was that at the door?" 

"It was just Sae. She came to wish us a Merry Christmas and left us a pot of lamb stew."

  
Katniss' stomach growled at the prospect of the woman's stew. It was the best thing she'd ever tasted. Prim broke out in a fit of giggles and she thought Peeta looked suddenly weird…almost nervous.

  
Katniss furrowed her brow in confusion, "What's so funny, Prim?"

 "Nothing. You guys are just so cute, that's all. I was just thinking about when you were afraid to tell Peeta how you felt about him. It makes me all nostalgic."

  
But Katniss couldn't see the secret connection between Peeta and her little sister from behind her back. She felt Peeta pull her closer at the waist and was confused for a second until he started to speak.

  
"She's giggling because she's giddy with excitement, just as I am." He stood up from the sofa and dropped to one knee. Katniss' eyes grew wide and her mouth slackened with surprise. She heard Prim squeal like a 10-year old and almost dropped the iPad. Peeta took it from her hand and propped it up so that Iris and Prim could see.

  
"Katniss, I've loved you in one way or another since the day I met you. My heart doesn't know anything else. I feel like everything we've done and meant to each other was leading us to this moment. It feels so natural for me, this next step. I hope you feel the same way, too. I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you. I want to make babies with you, pay bills with you and eat your terrible cooking. I want to be there for every victory and let down that we know will come if we live long enough. I've already asked your mom and Uncle Haymitch and they approved. Katniss, I love you and would be the happiest man on earth if you would marry me."

  
At some point she'd dropped to her knees right in front of him and was holding his face in her hands as tears pooled in her eyes. Prim was still squealing.

  
"Do you even have to ask? Yes! Yes!" She threw her arms around his neck as he pulled her in at her waist to get closer. Their lips collided in a flurry of tears and squeals as the rest of the world receded into the background. She was going to marry Peeta, her best friend.

  
In her joy, she'd almost forgotten that there was a ring involved. Peeta opened a small black velvet box to reveal a beautiful square-cut solitaire set in white gold. Inscribed inside the band were the words 'like crazy'.

  
After they calmed Prim down, they called Peeta's family and Uncle Haymitch to tell them the good news. Everyone gave their congratulations but none seemed surprised. They decided to bask in the glow of their new decision and to wait on telling their friends until the next day.

  
That night she lay in bed with Peeta as he was snored soundly in the aftermath of their lovemaking. She looked down at her hands, the purity ring on one and her engagement ring on the other, and couldn't help but think of how connected the two were. He was her beginning, her end and everything in between. It was a Merry Christmas, indeed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!


End file.
